


Válað

by hpsslove



Category: Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, Alcohol Abuse, Anxiety, Cheating, Depression, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Fluff, Happy Ending, Loki Does What He Wants, Loki Needs a Hug, M/M, Nightmares, Overdose, Panic Attack, Past Abuse, Past Torture, Redemption, Romance, Tony Needs a Hug, Tony Stark Has A Heart
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-22
Updated: 2017-10-28
Packaged: 2018-09-01 11:17:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 34,637
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8622541
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hpsslove/pseuds/hpsslove
Summary: After finding Pepper cheating on him, Tony is at a loss for what to do with himself. Until he comes across a certain God of Mischief one night at a bar.





	1. Chapter 1

_Tony was falling. The suit lost power and he’s falling. But he’s not going to make it. The portal is closing and he won’t make it out in time._

_‘Jarvis?’ he tries. Nothing._

_He could see the destruction in front of him. They had won. They had managed to save the Earth. The last of the Chitauri ships were exploding in front of him and he knew his team were taking out the ones on the other side of the portal._

_And Tony was going to be stuck. There was nothing here for him. He couldn’t be stuck here. What about Pepper? And the team? They needed him._

_He couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t think. He tried to struggle in the suit, but his lack of oxygen was a problem. He couldn’t die like this. Not without…without saying goodbye to Pepper. Tony wasn’t ready to die._

_‘I’m sorry, Pep.’_

Tony woke up in a cold sweat, dragging air into his lungs while trying not to wake Pepper. He slid out of the bed and checked that she was still asleep. Pulling on a pair of pajama pants, he walked into the bathroom and watched his reflection in the mirror.

He was disgusted.

_Another nightmare. How pathetic!_

They were getting worse. And happening more often. Why couldn’t he get past this? It’s been almost 6 months since the invasion, this should be getting better.

He’d been scared when he saw the portal closing. The thought had crossed his mind that maybe he wouldn’t get through it in time. But he had made it. Bruce had caught him, he _definitely_ hadn’t been kissed by anyone, and things were supposed to go back to normal. But they hadn’t gone back to normal. Tony couldn’t sleep without having nightmares. God knows he has tried.

Tony left the bathroom, shuffling into the living room and over to the bar. _Just one_ he told himself. _It’ll just be one and then I’ll go back to bed._

\----------

‘Tony! Get up. You have a meeting with the board at 8:30 and it’s already 7:15.’

 _Oh, crap. ___Pepper had found him on the couch and she had that strained toned she’d been using more and more with him the last couple weeks.  
  
‘Now, Tony. You don’t have time to be hungover.’ he heard her heels click on the floor and the elevator doors ding. He waited till the doors closed and opened his eyes, sitting up. A meeting? He didn’t want to go to any meeting. He just wanted to sleep. And maybe have another scotch. One wouldn’t hurt, right?  
  
_Might as well get this over with first, ___he thought before going into the bathroom to shower. Pepper would be furious if he missed another meeting.  
  
\----------  
  
That evening, when he finally made it back to the tower, Tony was tired and frustrated. He hated dealing with board members all day. He was an inventor, why should he have to sit through meetings that didn’t interest him in the least?  
  
‘Welcome home, sir.’ Jarvis’ voice broke through his thoughts.  
  
‘Hey, Jar. Any messages for me?’  
  
‘Just one sir, from Director Fury. Shall I play it for you?’  
  
‘No, delete it. Put an order in for pizza for me and a chicken salad for Pepper. She should be right behind me.’ He wondered if they would be civil to each other tonight, or if they’d have one of their recurring arguments before pretending like nothing happened and going to bed.  
  
‘Yes sir.’  
  
‘Thanks J.’ Tony walked through the bedroom and into the bathroom for a shower, dropping his clothes as he went. As he was standing there under the hot spray, he could feel his muscles relaxing and realized how tense he’s been. When he got out, he heard Pepper dealing with the food in the living room.  
  
‘Pep?’ he called.  
  
‘In here Tony. Your food is going to get cold.’  
  
Tony rolled his eyes, already annoyed. Not like he couldn’t eat cold pizza. He walked to the bar and grabbed a tumbler from the rack to pour himself a drink.  
  
Pepper glared at him. ‘Do you have to drink every night, Tony? You need something besides scotch.’ _A fight then, ___he mused. Had he thought it would be anything different?  
  
‘You’re right, Pep. I should mix it up more often. I think I’ll have tequila tonight.’ He laughed without humor.  
  
‘That’s not what I meant and you know it,’ she snapped. ‘I know you got out of bed last night to drink. This is getting out of hand Tony.’  
  
‘No,’ Tony stopped her before she could start ranting. ‘I didn’t get out of bed to drink’ he spits the last words out like an insult. ‘I got out of bed because I had a nightmare! I only had one and it was only so I could sleep.’ He grabbed the pizza box and started towards the bedroom, trying to get there before the screaming started.  
  
‘You’d stop having nightmares if you got help from something besides a bottle Tony!’ she threw at him.  
  
He whirled around, sloshing tequila over his cup. _Maybe I should go back and grab the bottle. ___  
  
‘And who am I supposed to get help from, Pepper? Who am I supposed to tell that I flew a nuke into a wormhole on purpose and now what I saw on the other side is keeping me awake? You? You don’t have time for that. You _never ___have time.’ He knew it was a low blow. He knew she was trying to run his company, but right now, he just didn’t care.  
  
The last time he’d tried to talk to her about his nightmare she’d practically blew him off and told him it would pass.  
  
He already knew that. He knew it was only a matter of time. It was the _time ___that was the problem. How much sleep could he lose over this before he just couldn’t function anymore? He was well on his way to finding out…  
  
Tony brushed past her to grab the bottle of tequila he’d left on the bar and went into the bedroom. Pepper just stood there, watching him close the door and effectively end their argument. He couldn’t fight with her about this again. He was tired of going in circles with her.  
  
He’d had a few shots and had dozed off before he felt the mattress dip behind him. He knew he should say something. Apologize or console her or…. or what? Why was he thinking about apologizing for having a nightmare? It wasn’t enough that he wasn’t getting any sleep, she had to make him feel weak, too? No. This he would not apologize for.  
  
Tony could hear her breaths slow and even out as she fell asleep. He slipped out of bed and got dressed. _I need another drink ___he thought, grabbing his keys to head for the bar.  
  
\----------  
  
A few weeks later and Tony thought things were getting better. _Well,_ he thought, _maybe not._ The nightmares were still there, but not as frequent since he’d simply started avoiding sleep. He had started a routine of going off to the bar almost every night once Pepper was asleep and Pepper hadn’t said a word. _Maybe she didn’t know? ___They were still arguing, but their arguments were centered around the ridiculous (if you asked him) fact that she thought he was ‘depressed’ and refused to get help that she thought was necessary. After she pulled the team into one of those fights and told him they agreed with her, Tony had shut down and pushed her away. No way was he going to let her turn his team against him. It was bad enough they badgered him about his drinking. He wouldn’t let her make them believe he was weak on top of it. Iron Man WASN’T weak.  
  
‘Jarvis, run the usual tests on the new serum and let me know if you find anything wrong.’ Tony was in his lab waiting for Pepper to go to bed, trying to come up with a revised serum for Bruce. Or rather, a serum to calm the Hulk down. He had taken fluothane and modified the molecular structure to make it stronger, but that hadn’t worked so well. Tony knew he was missing something, but he just couldn’t pin point it.  
  
‘Yes sir. Anything else I can do for you?’ Jarvis replied.  
  
Tony rubbed his hands down his face, trying to clear his thoughts. ‘No, that’s it.’ He said, walking over to the elevator and pushing the button for the penthouse floor. He knew he couldn’t expect Pepper to be asleep already but he wasn’t getting anywhere in the lab. Maybe he’d just sit down with an iPad and try and figure out where he was going wrong with his formulas. He certainly didn’t want to argue with Pepper and if she thought he was working and not drinking she’d leave him be.  
  
It was only 10:30, but he reluctantly walked into the bedroom to see if she was asleep and grab his iPad. Tony cracked the door open just enough to slide inside and saw Peppers slim form under the covers. _Perfect,_ he thought. He changed out of his greasy lab shirt and into his favorite dark blue jeans and a band shirt. _This will do._  
  
\----------  
  
Tony decided to try a new bar tonight and had Happy drive him to one he’d found across town. Not exactly his first choice, but he didn’t want to chance running into anyone or, _God forbid ___, have the paparazzi show up. He didn’t want to give Pepper anymore fuel to argue with him about his habits. It was his life, dammit and he’d live it how he wanted to.  
  
Walking in, he looked around. _Dull;_ that was the first word that came to mind, along with _small_ and _dark_. There were a couple of well-worn booths to one side of the room with a couple tables. At the bar, there were the customary bar stools and the rows of bottles of alcohol lining the shelves behind the bar. To his left, where the pool tables and… _is that a karaoke machine?!_... stood, there were a handful of high tables. _YES. This will work._  
  
Tony sat down at the bar and ordered a scotch on the rocks, sipping it as he thought.  
  
_What are we doing to each other? It's not supposed to be this way._ He was angry with her because she thought he was weak. Tony could see it in her eyes.  
  
Tony didn’t want to lose Pepper, but this? He barely had her now. They were either fighting with each other or avoiding each other while acting like nothing was wrong. The rare times they were civil they were in meetings for SI or discussing business.  
  
_What am I supposed to do?_ Maybe he should get some help. Talk to someone. After everything was said and done, he wanted Pepper. Needed Pepper to be in his life. It would hurt to let go of his pride and admit he needed help dealing with things. It would be humiliating…. but if he lost Pepper… that would hurt _worse._ After everything Pepper had done for him, he could do this one thing for her.  
  
_I can do this. I’ll go home and tell Pepper that we can fix this and everything will be okay. She’ll forgive me._ He nodded to himself and slipped the bartender a few bills to pay for his drinks, calling Happy to drive him home.  
  
\----------  
  
Arriving at the tower, Tony thanks Happy and heads to his floor. Standing in the elevator he can’t help but be happy. _I’m going to fix this. For Pepper. We’ll make it work. ___  
  
Stepping out of the elevator and passing the living room, Tony heads to their room and pauses just outside the door to gather his thoughts.  
  
_‘Yes,’ ___he hears Pepper cry.  
  
His stomach drops, and he feels sick. He pushes through the door and stops cold at what he sees. Pepper, _his Pepper, ___being pushed off the guy she had been on top of seconds before.  
  
‘What the… Pepper… Pepper what the hell is going on!?’ he forces the words out.  
  
‘Tony, I…’ She scrambles of the bed and yanks a t-shirt on. Tony watches her _lover? Boyfriend? How long had this been going on? ___tumble out of bed and pull his pants on. He stands there in disbelief, rage bubbling up inside him.  
  
‘How could you do this, Pepper?!’ he shouts. She flinches, but he goes on, ‘Who the fuck is this?’  
  
She starts stuttering. ‘I’m… I’m so sorry… Tony… I know… I didn’t want you to find out… like this.’  
  
‘Oh really? Did you plan to make an announcement? Tell me over dinner that you were fucking someone in our bed? Maybe give me a card?’  
  
‘No, Tony. You have to believe me. I was going to tell you,’ she says. ‘I didn’t want to hurt you. I love you.’  
  
‘Did you think this was going to make me feel good? You sleeping with someone else?’ he cuts her off. ‘How long, Pepper? How long have you… have you been with _him?’ ___  
  
‘His name is Mark’ she says quietly, like she’s hoping Tony won’t hear her. At the same time, Mark says ‘Maybe I should go.’  
  
‘YOU SHOULD HAVE NEVER CAME!’ he screams.  
  
He smirks. ‘I didn’t. You interrupted us.’  
  
Tony sees red and steps towards him but Pepper moves to get in between them and puts her hands up. ‘Mark, go. You know the code to the elevator. I’ll call you.’ He goes, rushing out of the room leaving his shirt and his shoes behind.  
  
Tony glares at her. ‘You…WHAT?! He has the elevator codes? You gave him the goddamned elevator codes!?!’ he stammers at her.  
  
_I can’t believe this. I can’t believe this is happening right now._ Pepper looks like she’s at a loss for words. _Yeah right._  
  
‘What was I supposed to do, Tony? You aren’t here! You checked out weeks ago! It’s been almost 8 months since the invasion and you aren’t getting any better. You won’t talk to me. You won’t get help. You fight me on everything. You are always drunk or headed that way. You’re killing yourself and making me watch you do it!’ she takes a breath.  
  
_Me? She’s blaming this on me?! ___‘Fuck that! This one is on you, Pepper. I tried talking to you and you said to give it time. You blew me off, not the other way around. You know what? I was coming home to tell you that we could work this out. That I would get help and make this better. That I could fix this for you and that you were worth it,’ he nearly stops at the hurt expression on her face. ‘I guess I was wrong. Get out.’  
  
‘Tony…’ she tries.  
  
‘Get out!’  
  
Tony looked at her and held her gaze until he saw her shoulders slump forward and saw the single tear streak down her cheek. He watched as she went into their, _no – his ___, room and waited for her to come back.  
  
‘Is this it?’ she asked, walking back towards the elevator door. ‘Are you really going to do this?’  
  
‘This wasn’t me, Pep. I don’t know what there is left to say,’ he responded before he could do something stupid. _Like change his mind ___he thought.  
  
He grabbed her wrist when she moved past him and before he could stop himself he asked ‘How long Pepper?’  
  
‘Don’t do this, Tony. It doesn’t matter.’ she pleaded.  
  
He almost laughed. _How could it not matter? ___‘It matters to me. Tell me how long have you been bringing this guy into my home?’  
  
‘Two months,’ she whispered, more tears making their way down her face. He dropped her wrist like he’d been burned and she got into the elevator. ‘But he’s never been here before today. I only gave him the codes in case of an emergency. I do love you, Tony.’ And then the doors slid closed, and she was gone.  
  
_Pepper was gone. ___  
  
He stalked over to the bar and grabbed a glass and his best bottle of whiskey, pouring himself a generous amount before going to the couch and sitting on the edge. He could feel the adrenaline slowly receding out of his body and he was exhausted.  
  
Finishing off his drink and pouring another, he went into the bedroom to find the Prazosin Bruce had given him for the nightmares and PTSD. Hopefully he’d be able to get some sleep tonight before having to face tomorrow. He found them and threw a few into his mouth, chasing it down with his whiskey before heading towards the shower.  
  
Tony threw his clothes off and got into the hot shower trying not to think about what had just happened.  
  
_How could she cheat on me? How could she bring him into my tower? How come Jarvis didn’t tell me? ___  
  
‘Jarvis, has he been here before today?’ he asked his AI.  
  
‘No sir.’ came the immediate reply. Of course he hadn’t known. Jarvis was the only loyal person in his life, even if he wasn’t exactly a person.  
  
The last thing Tony heard before his legs gave out was Jarvis saying something about an ambulance.


	2. Chapter 2

_There was pain. Pain and fog and dark._

_‘…Tony…hear me?’ Why did Pepper come back?_

_He tries to respond but his voice doesn’t cooperate, slipping back into unconsciousness._

_‘…just getting vitals… no change…few hours…sorry sir…’ Who was that? And who were they talking to? Where was he? He struggled against the haze before giving up and letting go_. 

When Tony wakes again it’s from the pain. His head hurts, and his entire body aches from lack of use and the almost nonexistent mattress. _This isn’t my bed…_

He opens his eyes and sees Bruce slumped over in a chair a few feet from his bed. 

‘Bruce?’ 

Bruce lifts his head to look at Tony. ‘Hey. You’re awake. How do you feel?’ 

‘What happened?’ Tony asks, avoiding the question. 

‘Well, I was going to ask you the same thing,’ he pauses when Tony looks away. ‘Jarvis called 911 when you collapsed in the shower. It’s a good thing he constantly monitors your vitals or we may not have found you in time. What were you thinking Tony?

Tony looked back at Bruce, gathering his thoughts.

'Tony! You nearly died. Your blood alcohol level was 0.62. That’s above the lethal limit. And the doctor said they found pills when they pumped your stomach. What happened?’ 

_He’s not going to let it go. He deserves to know. He’s your only good friend._

Tony sighed. ‘Pepper cheated on me. I found them in my tower. I came home to tell her I’d get help, and she was screwing some guy in my bed, Bruce. In my bed!’ he stopped. _Get ahold of yourself._ ‘So I had a drink. Or…well…another drink I guess. I only took the pills so I could get some sleep. That’s all, Bruce. I just wanted to get a decent night’s sleep.’ 

Bruce studied his face, like he was trying to see the lie. He turned away when the door opened, and Tony glanced up to see the rest of his team walking in, sans Thor. 

‘Glad to see you’re awake. We were worried about you.’ Steve spoke first. Natasha just glared at him, and Clint looked like he’d rather be anywhere but in this room. 

Tony got a bad feeling about the lecture that was coming. He knew it was unavoidable, but he wasn’t looking forward to it. 

‘If I pretend I’m still asleep can we skip the part where you guys tell me off for endangering myself and the team? Cause I’ve already heard that one before.’ Tony smirked. 

Natasha narrowed her eyes at him. _Uh-oh. She’s really pissed._ ‘You think this is a joke, Tony? You think trying to kill yourself is something we, something SHIELD, can ignore?’ 

‘Tash, let’s give him…’ Clint started. 

Steve cut him off. ‘Don’t enable him Barton. This isn’t something he should take lightly. He almost died.’ Clint turned to Steve. ‘I’m not enabling him; I’m just saying we should give him time to explain his side of the story.’ 

Natasha scoffed and the team turned to look at expectantly at Tony. ‘Well?’ she said. 

‘Like I told Bruce, I didn’t try to kill myself. I drank more than I thought I had and then took some medicine to go to sleep. They must have reacted to each other and caused some bad…effects.’ He didn’t care what they thought, he was not trying to kill himself. He wasn’t going to off himself over… _oh god. Pepper._

Bruce interrupted his thoughts. ‘Tony…’ 

‘No!’ he cut Bruce off before he could mention Pepper in front of the team. He wasn’t ready for that. He closed his eyes just to get away from their staring. ‘That’s all there is to it. I’ll put a new protocol in place with Jarvis so it doesn’t happen again. Now can someone get me a doctor so I can get out of here?’ he said in a tone leaving no room for refusal.

They seemed to accept that they weren’t going to get any more out of him then, so Steve left to get a doctor and get Tony discharged and all but Bruce shuffled out of the room. 

When Bruce and Tony made it back to the tower, Bruce told him that he’d be on his floor if he needed anything. Brushing off his concern, he waved Bruce away and headed through the bedroom to shower. 

\----------

Three weeks had passed since Tony had collapsed in the shower. Things hadn’t yet improved to his teams liking, but he was trying. That was more than he did for anyone. He had found a therapist to speak with about the nightmares, although he had managed to reschedule the appointment twice because he just couldn’t come to terms with the fact that he might need help. 

_I’m used to this shit already. Everyone leaves and I manage to work it out myself. What could a therapist possibly do for me?_ Tony scowled at the thought. _Maybe I’ll just cancel the appointment altogether. I’ve made it this far without talking to some shrink._

‘Sir, you have a call from Ms. Potts. Shall I put her though?’ 

‘Go ahead, Jarv. Audio only.’ Tony sat the welder down on the metal table and grabbed a rag to wipe his hands on so he could grab his phone and head upstairs. 

‘Tony?’ 

‘Yeah. What do you need, Pepper? Did I miss a meeting?’ he asked. _What else would she be calling me for?_ She had called him, once, after he’d gotten home from the hospital but he’d told her that it wasn’t any of her concern anymore and that if it wasn’t about SI he didn’t have anything to say. He knew it was harsh but he felt so betrayed by Pepper he didn’t care. 

She cleared her throat. ‘No. I want to know how you are. And I wanted to say thank you. Steve brought my things from the tower today. I thought you’d have gotten rid of it.’ 

He couldn’t deny that the thought had crossed his mind. Well, more than that actually. He’d gone as far as gathering her things into boxes, ready to toss them out. But something had stopped him. As hurt as he was, as betrayed as he felt, he just couldn’t. So he’d called Steve and asked Steve to take it all to Pepper. 

‘Is that all? Because I’m kind of busy, Pepper.’ He got out of the elevator and walked to the refrigerator, hunting for something to eat. 

Pepper hesitated at his tone before answering, and he could almost hear her trying to keep her voice calm. ‘Tony, can we talk please?’ 

_Jesus Christ. Not this again._ ‘No, Pepper. I don’t want to talk about anything, not to you. I don’t want to talk about how you brought another man into our tower, my tower. I don’t want to listen to you say you didn’t know what else to do because the way I see it, you had options. You could have come to me. You could have ended things instead of ruining…’ he took a breath, and she took the opportunity to cut him off. 

‘I didn’t think you could handle it, Tony! And if your hospital debacle is any indication, I was right. How was I supposed to come to you when I know how self-destructive you can be?’ she snapped. 

‘Goodbye, Pepper.’ Tony had had enough. He didn’t want to have this argument right now. He hit the end button on his phone and tossed it on the couch. Tony scrubbed his hands over his face and decided it wasn’t worth going back to the lab. _I’ll never get anything done now. Dammit Pepper._ He glanced at his watch. 9:30. Kind of early for the bar. _Fuck it. I’m going anyways._

\---------- 

Tony was sitting at the bar sipping his third whiskey when the voice next to him spoke. 

‘I believe you owe me a drink.’ 

Tony froze. He knew that voice. He turned to his left and raised his head to meet the gaze of god next to him. Loki was leaning against the bar, watching him. Tony’s eyes roamed down the trickster’s body, taking him in. Wearing a simple black suit with a green shirt underneath, he looked oddly out of place in the dingy bar. If Tony had to think of one word to describe him, it would be sexy. 

Loki watched Tony look him up and down. ‘See something you like, Stark?’ 

Tony let out a harsh breath. ‘No.’ His eyes darted back up. ‘What are you doing here, reindeer games? Planning on taking over the world again?’ 

He smirked. ‘Not any time soon.’ He said, taking the seat closest to Tony. 

‘Then what do you want?’ Tony asked before swallowing the last of his whiskey. 

‘I told you. I’d like that drink you offered me.’ 

Tony waved the bartender over, keeping his eyes on the god. ‘Another drink?’ she asked. 

‘Two.’ He finally turned to look at her. ‘And please, keep them coming.’ The words were out before he could stop them. _Bad idea. Very bad idea. Drinking with Loki is the last thing I should be doing._

He waited for the bartender to bring their drinks before turning to face Loki again. ‘So what do you want? I’m sure you didn’t come back to Earth just for a drink.’ 

‘I’m here to make amends.’ Came the barely audible response. Tony would have missed it if he hadn’t been watching Loki’s face. As it was, he almost choked on his drink. ‘You? Making amends?’ 

‘Yes. Starting with you, for throwing you out the window.’ 

Tony set his glass down and focused his gaze on the bar. ‘And how did you plan to manage that?’ 

Loki leaned in, close enough that Tony could feel his breath. ‘I’m sure I can think of something.’ 

_What the hell is that supposed to mean?_ ‘Sounds like you already have something in mind.’ He said, throwing back the last of his drink and catching the bartenders eye for another. 

Loki shifted another inch closer. ‘I might.’ 

Tony could feel the heat creeping up his neck and into his face. _Jesus Christ…is he flirting with me?_ ‘Care to fill me in?’ he answered as evenly as he could. 

‘I thought maybe you could guess.’ He leaned forward some more and brushed his hand up Tony’s thigh, chuckling when he jerked. 

Tony looked down at the fingers trailing up his thigh and he fought the urge to lean into the touch. ‘That…could be dangerous.’ _Dangerous. HA!_ Like he cared. He’d had his fair share of dreams, starring none other than the god in front of him. As good looking as Loki was no one could blame him for dreaming about the trickster, enemy or not. He’d earned his reputation as a playboy dating both men and women since college. _But this is Loki. Not a good idea Tony._

‘Dangerous can be fun.’ He said, his hand moving further up so he could slide his hand inside Tony’s shirt. Tony gasped and stood up when Loki’s fingers skimmed across his stomach. 

He laughed, trying to hide the disappointment he could feel coming with his next words. ‘I haven’t had enough to drink for that, Green Eyes. And I am leaving.’ He got up and walked out of the bar without another glance. 


	3. Chapter 3

He was going to lose his mind. In the two days that had passed since Tony had seen Loki at the bar, he’d successfully stopped thinking about the god for a grand total of five hours. And he wasn’t even sure those counted either, since he’d been asleep. 

_This is ridiculous. What is wrong with me? He is an enemy! And sleeping with an enemy, this enemy, is too dangerous. Even for me._

_But he’s gorgeous. And a God._ His traitorous libido supplied. 

Tony groaned, trying not to remember the way his breath hitched when Loki’s hands had moved up his thigh and how his heart had stuttered when those pale fingers had found their way under his shirt and skittered across his stomach. He had had to make a quick exit before Loki noticed his very obvious arousal. 

‘Dammit,’ Tony cursed, pushing his chair back from the computer he’d been looking through JARVIS’ programming on and looking around his lab. _This is useless._

He knew he didn’t have great self-control, especially when it came to sex. He was a self-proclaimed playboy, for god’s sake. 

He sighed and glanced at the time on the screen before getting up. ‘Shut this down, Jarvis. And lock up the lab.’ 

‘Yes, sir.’ 

\---------- 

Tony took the elevator back to the penthouse and was already to the bar when he noticed Steve. _Ugh. This should be fun_ he thought sarcastically. 

‘What’s up, Cap?’ he asked, popping a few ice cubes into a glass and pouring scotch over them. Steve was on the sofa, hands folded in his lap and watching Tony like he wasn’t sure where to start. ‘How are you, Tony?’ 

Tony took a drink before answering. ‘Uh, fine? Why?’ 

‘No reason. I just came to check on you. No one has heard from you since you came home, not even Bruce. I thought maybe…’ he let the words hang in the air. 

‘You thought what?’ 

‘I don’t know. That you would take what happened a little more seriously? But you’re avoiding us.’ 

He swallowed the rest of his drink and reached to pour another. He was going to need it if this was going where he thought it was going. ‘What happened? Nothing _happened,_ Rogers. It was an accident. And I’ve been busy, not avoiding you. I have some upgrades for the suit that are taking longer than I thought. I do have a life you know.’ Well, that was mostly true. Tony had spent time on the suit, but the upgrades were done. 

Steve sighed. ‘That’s not what I meant. Wouldn’t you rather talk about it than drink by yourself?’ 

He laughed and rolled his eyes. ‘Let’s see. Drink something that doesn’t talk back, or discuss my personal life with a team that does. Yeah. It’s a no from me. I’ll stick with my Johnnie Walker.’ He raised his glass to Steve before draining it in one gulp to prove his point. ‘You can run along. I don’t need a babysitter. I’ve got Jarvis for that.’ He added when Steve didn’t speak. 

Steve let out a sigh but didn’t move from the couch. Tony waited, looking for a way to break the awkward silence that had fallen over the room. Just as he was about to tell Steve he had work to do to avoid the conversation, Steve stood and walked over to stand a few feet from Tony. 

‘Why do you do this, Tony? You keep everyone at arm’s length determined to do everything by yourself. Making sure no one ever gets close enough to help you. But you don’t have to, Tony. You don’t have to do it alone. We are here for you. Me and the rest of the team are here and we can help if you would just let us.’ He said, his forehead creasing and an emotion resembling pity displayed across his face. Tony’s annoyance flared. He didn’t want Steve’s pity. 

He stepped forward, defensive. ‘Why do you even care Rogers? I’ve made it this far on my own, I don’t need you jumping down my throat every time I have a drink. You think you are such a good guy that you have to be everyone else’s hero? I don’t need you or anyone else to help me.’ 

‘I care because you are part of the team. I care because I can see that you have been having a hard time since Pepper left. I care because…because you are Howard’s – ‘

‘Howard’s what?!’ Tony raised his voice, anger bubbling up inside him. ‘Howard’s _mistake?_ Cause that’s all I ever was to him. A mistake. Something to be swept under the rug and forgotten. I could never compare to you, the great Captain America. I could never measure up! I was not Howard’s _anything,_ and I sure as fuck don’t need you reminding me of that.’ 

Steve winced and took a step back, putting his hands up in front of him in surrender. ‘Tony, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to bring up your father. But I do care. This isn’t healthy for you. Just a few weeks ago you were in the hospital. I don’t want you winding up there again.’ 

Tony brushed that off. ‘You don’t care about _me._ You care about Iron Man. And I know what my body can handle, so don’t start with your ‘that’s not healthy’ bullshit. I can take care of myself Steve.’ 

Steve stared at Tony, his shoulders slumped. ‘Fine. I’ll leave this alone. But I’m still going to be here, Tony. I’m not giving up on you.’ He said, walking back towards the elevator. 

‘Just go. I have stuff to do.’ When the elevator doors slid closed behind him Tony finished his scotch and walked into his room to shower, making up his mind to go to the bar just to get away. He didn’t have any work that couldn’t wait and he wasn’t sure he wanted to do any work right now anyways. 

\----------

Arriving at the bar that night already half-drunk, Tony had expected to have a drink and then go home with whoever he could sweet talk into leaving with him. He hadn’t had sex with anyone since his break up with Pepper, and even before that him and Pepper hadn’t slept together in weeks. So, when he spotted Loki in a booth almost immediately after walking in he made a decision. Having sex with Loki would definitely take his mind off of his misery and if their last encounter was anything to go by, Loki wouldn’t put up much of a fight. 

He went over and waited at the bar for his drink and then walked over and held Loki’s gaze as he sat down, daring him to object. 

‘Come to flirt with me some more?’ Tony asked smoothly. 

‘Don’t flatter yourself, Stark. You came to my table.’ He said, shifting his eyes down to the drink in front of him. 

‘True, but we both know you were waiting for me.’ 

‘I wait for no one. What do you want?’ 

_Time to cut to the chase._ Tony grinned. ‘You. But let’s have a drink first.’ He watched Loki’s expression, looking for any sign of disinterest or rejection. When he saw none, he raked his eyes down Loki. Or rather, as far as he could while he was hidden behind the table. He was dressed casually this time wearing a fitted black shirt with his hair slicked back in its usual style. _I bet he could wear anything and look this amazing. Heathen gods._

‘Me? What do you want with me?’ Loki asked innocently, eyes flickering with amusement. 

_As if it isn’t obvious. So, he’s playing dumb then. I should clear things up for him._

‘I want to take you home so you can fuck me senseless.’ Tony said with a smug look, like he knew he was going to get exactly what he wanted. 

Loki raised an eyebrow and studied Tony’s face. ‘Changed your mind since the last time you were here, did you?’ he laughed. 

‘Yes. Interested?’ he said simply. 

Loki sat staring at Tony with a contemplative look. ‘No. I don’t believe I am.’ 

To say Tony was shocked was an understatement. Loki had outright groped him the last time they’d met, so why was he backing down now? When Tony had left his tower, he’d left specifically looking for meaningless sex. A way to take his mind off the argument with Steve since the alcohol wasn’t doing it for him today. So, when he’d seen Loki at the booth, practically oozing sex, he’d been thrilled. He had never expected Loki to say no. 

Tony couldn’t hide his surprise. ‘You…wait, wha’? No?’ he half-slurred. 

‘You are drunk, are you not, Stark?’ Loki said, leaning further into Tony’s space and demanding his attention. 

‘Yes, but…’ he trailed off. Tony had started to say that he was rarely not drunk but looking at Loki’s expression he decided against finishing his sentence. 

‘I thought so. I will not be taking you to bed when you are drunk. I prefer my bedmates to be conscious. Not slurring their words and unfocused.’ 

_Well, damn._ Tony rolled his eyes. ‘Sure you’re not just hiding performance issues there? You know I was serious when I said one in five me-‘

Loki was next to him then, grabbing his face and jerking his chin up to look him in the eye before Tony could get the rest of his sentence out. ‘I assure you, Tony, I have no performance issues in bed or otherwise. Perhaps if you weren’t so _intoxicated-’_ he spat the word like it was dirty ‘-you could see that for yourself.’ 

Tony stared at Loki, taken back by his sudden aggression. Pulling away from him he decided he better back off. _I guess I should leave him alone for tonight._ ‘Suit yourself then.’ He dug his keys from his pocket and motioned for Loki to move so he could get up. When he had backed up enough for Tony to stand, he got up to his feet and nearly fell on his face. Loki pushed him back on to the seat just in time. 

_What the hell? I cannot be THAT drunk_ he thought. Sure, he’d had a few more drinks than his usual after his argument with Steve but he’d just eaten a few…oh…yeah. That. It had been well over two days since he’d eaten anything substantial. _That explains it then. Damn. Maybe I’ll just sit here for a minute._

 _ _‘You are not driving home, are you?’ Loki asked.__

 _ _

Tony looked up at him, scowling now. ‘Sure I am. Contrary to what the media believes I am capable of doing things on my own.’ 

Before he could stand up though, Loki had snatched the keys from his hand while holding his arm out to help Tony stand. ‘Your tower is all the way across town. You’ll be lucky if you don’t kill someone, much less yourself. I’ll take you.’ 

Tony couldn’t help the laugh that escaped at the sheer ridiculousness of Loki driving him home. ‘Hey! Give that back!’ he half yelled, half slurred. ‘I’m not letting you anywhere near my car. Do you even know how to drive?’ 

‘Of course I know how to drive.’ He scoffed, like it was an insult to think there was something he _couldn’t_ do. ‘This is not my first time on Midgard. Now let’s go.’ Loki said, gripping Tony’s forearm to keep him upright as he moved towards the front of the bar. Tony had no choice but to follow or risk falling and he was _not_ picking himself up from the bar floor again. It had been bad enough the first time it happened. 

Tony followed Loki to the parking lot realizing with each wave of nausea that was gripping him that he never would have gotten home. He could feel the beginning of what was sure to be a pounding headache. _Well this certainly hasn’t happened in a while._ Tony was never this careless with how much he drank. He hadn’t felt like this in years. It was like all the alcohol he’d had today was hitting him at once. 

They arrived at the car and got in, Loki throwing a sideways glance and shaking his head at him when he laid the seat down and curled into it. ‘Why do you do this to yourself if this is the result, Tony?’ Loki asked curiously. 

‘Hmm?’ 

‘Why do you drink like this if you only end up more miserable?’ he asked again. 

‘Not miserable…jus’ need a drink.’ Tony said, closing his eyes. 

Loki didn’t say anything else and it seemed like only moments later they were pulling into the towers underground parking garage. Loki again stood by his door and held his arm out for Tony to use as leverage and they walked to the elevator in silence. 

Tony slumped against the wall and looked at Loki when he followed him in. ‘You're coming up?’ 

Loki sighed. ‘It seems that way. Wouldn’t want you sleeping in the elevator, now would we?’ 

Tony called to his AI. ‘Jarvis, stop the feeds. And where’s the team?’ Loki visibly tensed at that but Tony was too groggy to reassure him. 

‘Agent Romanoff, Agent Barton, and Captain Rogers are still out, sir. And Dr. Banner is asleep on his floor. Shall I restrict his elevator use?’ Jarvis responded dutifully. 

‘No, J.’ Tony closed his eyes again, pointedly ignoring the look Loki was giving him. He only looked up when the elevator doors slid open again signaling they were on the penthouse floor. Tony stumbled out of the elevator, expecting Loki to go back down but was surprised when he put a hand out for Tony to regain his balance. Tony tried to think of something to say to break the silence, but they made it all the way to the hall before something clicked in his mind. 

Tony stopped and met his gaze then, trying to focus. ‘Ok, this is getting weird now. What are you still helping me for?’ 

Loki stared back, unfazed. ‘I told you, I’m making amends. And, you don’t have anyone else.’ 

__

_Ouch. That kind of hurts, true as it is._ ‘I have plenty of people! I don’t need you.’ He shoved at Loki, shocked by his own sudden anger. He jerked his hand back from Loki and leaned instead on the wall for support. 

‘I meant here, Tony. You are here alone and can barely stand up. I was just making sure you got to your bed before passing out.’ Loki replied, aware of the nerve he’d just struck. 

‘Sure. Wha’evr.’ Tony muttered. He turned back around and walked the rest of the way into his room before flopping down on his bed, not bothering to pull the covers over him. ‘Close the door behind you.’ He said, not even checking to see if Loki had followed him into the room. He closed his eyes but jerked them open a second later and sat up when he felt Loki’s hands on the hem of his shirt. ‘What are you doing?’ he asked, fighting off the dizziness that accompanied the quick movement. 

Loki’s eyes were on his, watching him struggle to keep his eyes open. ‘Surely you don’t mean to sleep in that? You reek of alcohol.’ 

He half – ass shrugged. ‘So?’ 

Loki just shook his head and finished pulling Tony’s t-shirt up. Loki stopped momentarily when he saw the arc-reactor but when he tensed, he looked up and motioned for Tony to lift his arms. Tony complied and dragged his shirt the rest of the way off before laying back down and looking back at Loki. 

Loki hesitated when his hands hovered over the belt on Tony’s jeans but only for a second. With deft fingers, he undid the belt buckle and the button and slid the zipper down. With some effort, he managed to pull the jeans off Tony’s hips and tossed them to the floor in a pile after his shoes. 

Tony sighed. ‘You were right you know.’ He whispered, half hoping Loki wouldn’t respond. 

No luck. ‘Usually. About what this time?’ 

‘That I don’t have anyone else.’ 

Tony didn’t see the look Loki gave him, but it was there. ‘What about your hidden servant?’ 

‘Mmm. He’s no’ a person.’ Tony said. 

Loki looked down at Tony and figured the best response was no response. 

Tony started to pull the blanket up over his body. ‘Jarv, turn the lights down to 10%.’ Loki turned, apparently ready to leave but was stopped when Tony abruptly grabbed his wrist, stopping him. 

Loki looked back around at him. ‘What?’ 

Tony hesitated, gathering his courage. _Oh fuck it. He’s already seen me act like a pathetic idiot._ ‘Stay? Jus’ for a while.’ 

‘I already told you I’m not having sex with you, Tony. Certainly not like this.’ Loki said, his tone annoyed. 

‘I know. Not for sex. Just…just for a while.’ He plead. Tony couldn’t feel more ashamed if he tried but the nightmares were bound to appear tonight after all the drinking. _Maybe if he is here while I fall asleep it won’t be so bad._

Loki looked at Tony, understanding dawning on his face before he could hide his expression. ‘Fine. For a while.’ He finally said, walking to the corner of the room and settling on the chair Tony had there. Tony gave him a half smile before relaxing and turning over, letting sleep claim him. 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rating and tags have been updated to reflect this chapter.  
> Also, I have to give credit to my brother and my beta for this chapter because he did a great deal of work for me on writing the smut at the end.

Loki sat back on the chair looking out at New York through the floor to ceiling windows that covered the entire outer wall of Tony’s bedroom. He hadn’t planned on staying at the tower any longer than was necessary to make sure Tony made it into his bed, and he didn’t even know why he was doing that much. But the look on the man’s face when he asked Loki to stay had affected him more than he wanted to admit. Tony was ashamed, that much was obvious. He clearly hadn’t wanted to appear weak even as drunk as he was. Some amount of apprehension and regret had shone through as well while he waited for Loki to answer him. But there was something else underneath that. 

_Fear._ Loki would recognize that anywhere but he hadn’t expected to see it on Tony. Even more, he hadn’t expected to dislike seeing it on Tony. Tony had been so bold, so cocky when they’d first met and Loki had tossed him out the window. He had openly threatened and insulted him even without his armor to help him. So, for him to fear Loki telling him no? It was off. It was wrong. Loki was intrigued. Why was Tony afraid of him leaving? 

_‘Just for a while…’_

He tried to come up with a list of possibilities for Tony wanting him to stay, but he didn’t know enough about the mortal to come up with anything that would fit in with what he _did_ know. 

_That will just have to change then_ he thought, getting up and walking to the end of the bed where Tony slept. With one last lingering glance, he turned and walked out of the room. 

\----------

Tony woke and started to sit up, but stopped and laid back down when the movement caused him to notice the pounding from the inside of his temples. Rolling over he pulled his nightstand drawer open and reached inside for the bottle of water and the painkillers he kept there for his hangovers. He swallowed a handful of pills and put the bottle away before laying back on his side, waiting for his memory of last night to come back. 

There wasn’t anyone in his bed so obviously, he hadn’t succeeded in getting what he set out for…then he remembered. 

_Loki._ Driving back to the tower. Loki undressing him. Asking Loki to stay. 

‘Uggghh.’ He groaned. He _never_ asked anyone to stay. It was against his rules he set for himself. 

‘Good afternoon, sir. It is 11:34 in the afternoon and it’s 79 degrees outside. You have three missed calls and twenty-six emails. Shall I pull them up, sir?’ Jarvis asked. 

‘Not now, J. Summarize it all and save it for later. Is he still here?’ Tony glanced around the room. He sure hoped Loki wasn’t wandering around the tower before he’d had a chance to explain to the rest of the team that he was in town. _Does Fury know he’s back? I’m sure Thor would have told him by now_ he wondered idly. 

‘No, sir. Mr. Laufeyson left at 4:11 a.m.’ 

‘4 am? What time did we get back?’ Tony hadn’t gotten to the bar until almost 11:30 and since he didn’t stay long he should have gotten home by around…

‘You and Mr. Laufeyson arrived back at the tower at 12:26 a.m.’ 

_What the hell did he do for four hours?_ The thought was unsettling. Sure, Loki had told him that he was here to make amends, but this was the God of Lies. Tony sure as fuck wasn’t stupid enough to just outright believe him. He was all for second chances but trust needed to be earned, especially with him. 

Tony dragged himself up to sit against his headboard and rubbed his palms against his eyes. ‘Did he do anything I should know about?’ 

‘No, sir. I would have already told you.’ Jarvis managed to sound offended and a smirk played across Tony’s lips. ‘He didn’t leave your room, and spent most of the time in the chair by the window. I can play the feed for you if you’d like.’ 

That caught Tony’s attention. _‘Most_ of the time in the chair? What else did he do?’ 

‘He sat on your bed for approximately 15 minutes after you fell asleep, sir, and then he used your bathroom. Would you like me to pull up the footage?’ 

Tony let out a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding. So, Loki hadn’t done anything out of the ordinary. Except sit on his bed for 15 minutes. _That_ was a little weird. Tony wished he would have stayed till the morning but if he was being honest with himself, he hadn’t expected him to stay at all. 

_Maybe I should go back to the bar tonight. He did only say he wasn’t sleeping with me while I was drunk._

So, Tony would have to be sober. _Sober. HA!_ He thought. When was the last time he had sex sober? Hell, when was the last time he’d done anything without a drink or two first? 

_Oh well,_ he decided _it’s just one night._ And if it meant he could see the god again that was just an added bonus. Tony had no idea where this sudden infatuation to Loki had come from, but he couldn’t find it in him to care. Any distraction from his current life was welcome at the moment. 

\----------

Tony tried hard to not drink anything all day. He really did. But after the phone call with Fury later that afternoon, the phone call he still wasn’t sure he should have made, it was a lost cause. 

All in all, the phone call had gone exponentially better than Tony thought it would go. Thor had definitely _not_ told Fury that Loki was back on Earth. Fury wasn’t so stupid as to interfere with Asgard’s punishment and bring on a war, but he wasn’t going to let Tony know that. After two hours of negotiating, Tony finally got the Director to agree to not hunt Loki down in exchange for a newly designed security system and a new helicarrier. 

He could do that easy. The security system would take a couple days to develop and the helicarrier would be a couple million dollars, but at least he’d bought Loki some time. Tony just hoped Loki hadn’t been lying when the god had told him he wanted to make amends. Otherwise he just made a brilliant mistake. 

Now he just had to decide whether to tell Loki and for that, he had to have a drink. So that’s how he found himself leaning against his bar, scotch in hand, thinking about Loki. Again. 

Would he be mad? Tony knew Loki hadn’t thought about asking him for help. He probably thought asking a mortal for help was beneath him. But he couldn’t help but think what would happen if someone recognized him on the street and Tony was the only one who knew what was going on. He also had had an idea that would help Loki redeem himself, but he didn’t want to mention it to him just yet. He’d wait and see how Loki reacted to him telling Fury first. 

\----------

Tony had practically counted the hours down until he could go out and find Loki again. They hadn’t said they’d be meeting at the bar but the thought that he might not be there never crossed Tony’s mind. So, when Tony arrived and didn’t see Loki anywhere, his buoyant mood crumbled a little. 

Not wanting to let his disappointment show, he walked up to the bartender and got himself a drink, went back over to the booth they had occupied the night before and sat down to wait. 

It was shortly after midnight when Tony glanced at his watch and decided he wasn’t coming. He sighed and stood up, put a fifty dollar bill on the table for his drinks and headed out to his car. He was almost back to his car when he heard a voice behind him. 

‘Hello, Anthony.’ 

_Anthony?_ No one called him Anthony anymore. He turned on his heel and came face to face with the god’s green eyes staring right at him. ‘Umm, Anthony?’ he questioned. 

Loki grinned. ‘That’s your name, isn’t it?’ 

‘Yes? But no one calls me that. Everyone calls me Tony.’ 

‘Ahh, yes. But I’m not everyone. And I like Anthony better than Tony. Tony is –’ he cut off at Tony’s look. 

‘What’s wrong with Tony?’ he asked, half insulted, half amused. 

Loki raised an eyebrow. ‘What’s wrong with Anthony?’ he countered. 

Tony stared at him for a second. He didn’t think anything _was_ particularly wrong with Anthony. He had just stopped using it. ‘Nothing, really.’ 

‘Okay then.’ Loki said with a lopsided grin. 

Tony decided to change the subject. He probably wouldn’t win this one anyways. ‘I want to tell you something.’ He blurted out. ‘But before I do, can you, I don’t know…make an effort not to rip my head off or strangle me or something else terrible?’ Dammit. Tony was nervous again and he was suddenly aware of just how bad this could go. They were alone, standing outside in the parking lot that was hidden behind the bar. And Tony’s closest suit was in the back of his car at least 20 seconds away. He held his breath and watched the gods face, waiting for an answer. He didn’t get one. Instead Loki’s expression went blank, all earlier humor forgotten, but he waved a hand for Tony to continue. 

Tony hesitated while trying to figure out the best way to say what he needed to say before Loki lost his patience. _Way to go, genius. I should have thought this out a bit more before opening my big mouth._

‘I told Director Fury you’re here and that you are trying to make amends and that you weren’t here to cause any trouble and I got him to agree that he wasn’t going to interfere with anything as long as you don’t hurt anyone well as long as I give him some new tech which is fine I can afford it…’ he said all in one breath, words tumbling out in a rush. He sucked in a breath and continued. ‘So he knows you’re here and if you get recognized by the media or something at least Fury will already know. And I think I have a way to help you make things better if you want some help from me and…umm…God, Loki, will you say something already?’ 

‘You told your Director that I’m back on Midgard.’ It was more of a statement than a question but Tony answered anyways. 

‘Yes.’ 

‘And you bargained with him, so that he wouldn’t attempt to capture me.’ Another statement. 

‘Yes.’ 

Loki stared at him searching his face for something. Tony stared back, a flush creeping up his neck at the scrutiny. ‘Why?’ he finally asked. 

Tony let out a breath and looked away. _Why? I have no idea why. Maybe because I’m an idiot. I make stupid decisions. Because I felt like I should help you, no matter how reckless it is._ He didn’t realize he was chewing at his bottom lip until Loki raised a hand and ran his finger across it, pulling it from his teeth. ‘Why, _Anthony?’_

His eyes flickered back to Loki’s face at his name. ‘I, uh, honestly?’ Tony fumbled for the words. ‘I don’t know why. Because I thought it was the right thing to do? If you are actually here to make amends, I think you deserve at least a fighting chance.’ He said simply. Blunt. Honest. ‘You are here to make amends, right? Not take over the world again?’ 

Loki huffed out a laugh. ‘I am here to make amends. I have no interest in taking over this realm. But I don’t know why you think I need help. I am perfectly capable of accomplishing my goal on my own.’ He said, something suspiciously close to annoyance seeping into his tone with his last words. 

_Shit._ Tony had considered all the ways he thought this could play out… _except that one._ Which was stupid because he knew Loki was full of pride and Tony himself would have reacted the exact same way. 

‘It’s not that, I was just trying -‘ he trailed off and let the words hang there. He knew that there wasn’t anything he could say that wouldn’t sound like an insult. It wasn’t that he thought the god incapable of finding a solution, he had just felt compelled to help. Loki didn’t say anything and Tony could almost see him slipping his usual mask on hiding whatever emotions Loki didn’t want him to see. 

Tony let out a sigh. ‘Look, I’m sorry. I didn’t think.’ He paused, waiting for a reaction. Loki’s mouth was pulled into a frown, a line etched between his brows. Tony had the urge to raise a hand and smooth it out and had his hand half raised before he caught himself, deciding it wasn’t a good idea. Instead, he awkwardly shoved his hands in his pockets and looked away. ‘Do you want to go back in and have a drink?’ he asked. 

Loki smoothed his face out at that. ‘Back in?’ he questioned. 

‘Well, yeah. I was already in there.’ He admitted. ‘I was, umm, kind of waiting for you. So I could…you know…tell you.’ 

‘Oh.’ Loki looked at the door to the bar and then back at Tony. ‘How about tomorrow night?’ 

Tony smiled at him. ‘Yeah. Sure. Here?’ 

‘Yes, Anthony. Here. 10 o’clock. Don’t be late.’ Loki smirked before turning around and walking away without a backwards glance. 

\----------

The next two weeks found Tony falling into a sort of routine. He’d spend all day in his lab, avoiding the outside world whenever he could, including the rest of the team and Pepper, when she dared to call. Then every night around 9:30 he would lock it up, shower, change, and head to the bar to find Loki. They hadn’t openly discussed meeting every night, but since that first night there had only been two times that Loki hadn’t showed up. 

Tony had worried those nights. Worried that the god had done something or gotten hurt, but the next night he would show up and act as if nothing happened, so Tony didn’t press him on it. 

Their time at the bar was pleasant. They drank. Well, Tony did anyways. He rarely saw Loki finish a drink if he ordered one at all. They flirted here and there. They talked. Loki was the first person Tony had found in a long while that could keep up with him not only intellectually, but also with the banter Tony constantly resorted to. Sure, Loki didn’t know much about Earth - or ‘Midgard’ as he called it, refusing to use any other term - but he was a quick learner and Tony couldn’t help but be attracted to how damn smart he was. 

Quite often Tony did most of the talking. Even if Loki seemed genuinely interested he didn’t seem to want to give up much about himself. Every now and then he would let something slip but then his mask would slide back in place and he wouldn’t say anything else until Tony changed the subject. Tony couldn’t blame him for that. He hadn’t been giving up much about himself either. He had, however, finally told Loki of his plan to help him earn forgiveness for the Chitauri attack but Loki flat out refused. Tony spent the last week and a half trying to persuade him using every argument and trick that he could think of, to no avail. Loki was stubborn as all hell and Tony didn’t seem to be making any progress whatsoever. 

By the end of two weeks Tony was so frustrated he was on the verge of giving up. He knew Loki wanted to hang on to his pride and he didn’t want to seem weak but Tony was only trying to help. His idea was brilliant (if you asked him). 

‘Ugh!’ he yelled, kicking the bar stool out of his way. ‘Why won’t he just let me fucking help him!?’ 

‘Sir, if I may? I ask myself the same thing all the time concerning your actions.’ Jarvis responded. 

Tony sat down on the stool. ‘Don’t sass me, J.’ 

‘Never, sir.’ He retorted. ‘I should inform you that you have a visitor.’ 

‘Don’t let them up. I don’t want to deal with anyone’s shit today. Who is it?’ 

‘Me.’ Came the voice from behind him. Tony gasped and turned around to face the god that had materialized in his penthouse. ‘But I can certainly leave if you wish.’ Loki said, the corner of his mouth turning up in an expression Tony had come to enjoy. 

He shook his head. ‘No. No it’s fine. But, uh, what are you here for?’ he asked curiously. Loki hadn’t been back to the tower since the night he brought Tony home drunk. In fact, Tony had no clue what Loki did all day, or where he slept for that matter. ‘I thought I’d be seeing you in a couple hours?’ 

‘I had something I wanted to tell you, and I didn’t feel like waiting.’ 

Tony’s eyes flashed with interest. Something to tell him that warranted showing up in his tower? _This will be good_ he thought. ‘Well then, do tell me what it is.’ 

‘I have decided that I’m going to allow you to help me.’ Loki said. 

_Help him…? With- oh. Oh! Yes!_ Realization clicked in Tony’s head. _It’s about damn time!_ Tony was thrilled and shocked all at the same time. He wanted to know what had finally persuaded him to change his mind, since last night he was still dead set against it, but he was so excited Loki had finally agreed that it didn’t matter. Before Tony could stop himself, he lurched forward and fisted his hands in Loki’s shirt, pulling him into a kiss. 

\----------

He had only recognized what Anthony as going to do a second before he moved. The way Tony’s gaze dropped to his lips and his pupils dilated. And then he felt Tony’s smooth lips pressed against his and he was sure his heart skipped a beat or five while he stood in shock. He hadn’t been expecting that. 

It seemed like an eternity, not mere seconds, before Loki pulled away when his brain finally caught up and realized what was happening. Searching his face, he expected him to be drunk and was surprised when he saw that the brown eyes were clear and determined, not the blurry red mess that they usually were. 

It had been nearly two weeks since Loki had seen Tony without some measure of alcohol in his system. It was a sight that, he was interested to learn, made him happy. While he stood there thinking it over, he realized too late that the look on his face must have been cold or angry because when Tony spoke he started to apologize, the hurt and rejection starting to show in his eyes. Loki held his hand up and cut him off trying to gather his thoughts. He could tell Tony was starting to over think his silence, but he was at a loss for what to say. 

\----------

Loki still had his hand up but he wasn’t saying anything. Tony couldn’t help but stand there and wonder if he’d gone too far. Dammit. And things have been going so well he thought. He hadn’t put much thought into kissing Loki. He was just so thrilled to have Loki finally agree to let Tony help him that he wanted to show him he was thankful. Thankful for putting a little trust in Tony. Loki was still staring at him, mouth slightly open like he was going to say something, but it wasn’t coming fast enough and Tony had to break the silence. 

‘Loki, I’m sorry. I-’ was all he managed to get out before Loki’s lips were back on his. Loki had one hand on the back of his neck, the other snaking its way around his waist and before he knew it he was being nudged toward his bedroom. Tony slid his tongue across Loki’s lower lip and was pleased when Loki parted them, granting Tony access. His tongue dove into the heat, tangling, touching, and teasing Loki’s. He didn’t break for air until the back of his thighs hit the edge of his bed. 

Kissing him again, Tony could feel the need radiating off Loki, his hands that crept under the hem of his shirt exploring up over his stomach and up across his chest, stopping only for a moment to tease his nipples. When Tony pulled away next, he felt his shirt being ripped off, right down the center. 

_I hope he realizes how expensive that was!_ Tony laughed to himself. He quickly forgot the shirt when Loki’s mouth latched onto him, licking and nipping at the hollow spot where his neck met his shoulder, sending shivers of pleasure down Tony’s body. Tony’s skin was tingling as Loki kissed, nibbled and teased his way down his chest, one hand on his hip holding him in place while the other brushed down his side. 

Loki trailed kisses down his stomach, stopping to suck a red mark into his skin just above the waistband of his jeans and Tony’s breath caught when Loki’s eyes flicked back up to his, glittering with arousal. 

He knew what was coming next. How long had he been thinking about this? How long had he wanted Loki’s mouth roaming his body, his hands touching him? Loki unbuttoning his jeans pulled him out of his thoughts. Tony watched as he pulled the zipper down and slipped his fingers under the waistband and slid the jeans down his thighs to his ankles. He stepped out of them and Loki tossed them behind where he was kneeling, out of the way. 

Tony could feel his arousal bulging against his boxer briefs and it suddenly occurred to him that in just a few seconds, he was going to be naked in front of a god. A god who, at the moment, appeared to be very pleased by what he saw pressing against the fabric in front of him. He wound his hands into Loki’s shirt to pull them both backwards onto the bed and pulled Loki down into a kiss, his tongue easily gaining entrance to the god’s mouth. 

Pulling back long enough to slide Loki’s shirt up his stomach and over his head he readjusted himself on the bed, sliding into the middle before fitting himself back against Loki’s body. Tony let his hands roam up and down Loki’s back, relishing the way the muscles moved and contracted underneath the pale flesh. He might look a bit wiry but underneath all the armor and leather, Loki was in great shape. Tony was so caught up in the feeling that he didn’t notice Loki’s hands sliding down his side until Loki grabbed the length of his cock through his boxers. 

As soon as he felt Loki’s fingers clamp around him Tony’s back arched and it took all his willpower to not fall over the edge and come right there. 

‘Oh my god, Loki.’ Tony gasped. 

He didn’t respond but Tony heard him chuckle as he moved back down his chest, running his tongue from the base of his neck down to the soft skin on his abdomen. Loki looked up at Tony and held his gaze. Without breaking eye contact he slid his fingers inside the waistband and pulled Tony’s underwear down his legs exposing Tony’s cock, pre-come already beading on the tip. 

He sat back on his legs and looked up at Tony. ‘Mmm, Anthony. _You. Are. Mine.’_ He said, tongue darting out to wet his lips. 

Loki’s face was flushed, lust visible in his eyes, pupils wide. Before Tony could muster a response, Loki had leaned forward and taken his entire length into his hot, wet mouth, hollowing his cheeks and using his tongue in ways Tony thought were sure to be illegal somewhere. The ‘silver tongue’ nickname made more sense now. Tony knew he wouldn’t last long like this. It had been too long and he was so close to the edge already, but he still couldn’t stop the whimper of disappointment from escaping when Loki pulled his mouth away and stood up. 

‘Have you got any oils for…this?’ Loki asked, waving a hand over Tony while the other started unlacing his leather pants. 

‘Nightstand, top drawer.’ Tony said, pointing up by the head of the bed. 

In one quick motion, Loki dropped his pants, surprising Tony with his lack of underwear, and was searching through Tony’s nightstand. Tony raked his eyes up and down Loki’s pale body, drinking in the sight of his lean back and finely shaped ass, leading to his firm mile-long legs. Tony couldn’t suppress his grin when Loki let out a triumphant cry, clutching the bottle of KY Jelly he’d found. When he turned around and moved back to the bed, the devious look on his face was enough to make Tony squirm. 

Loki crawled back up over Tony and leaned in, nipping at his ear before breathing. ‘You look so perfect, Anthony. Spread out and waiting just for me. I can’t wait to have you.’ 

Tony shuddered. ‘You are such a fucking tease, Loki.’ 

Loki just smiled, reaching down and stroking his cock before nudging him to roll onto his stomach. Tony did as asked, thoroughly anticipating what was coming. Loki gave his back the same treatment as his front, licking and kissing his way down his spine, sucking more red marks along the back of Tony’s hip. 

When Loki kissed along the cleft of his ass Tony let out a moan that quickly turned to an undignified squeak when Loki spread his cheeks and felt his tongue dart out to lick at the ring of muscles. Loki moved a hand to the inside of Tony’s thigh and nudged him. Tony obliged, spreading his legs to give him more space as he succumbed to the waves of pleasure radiating through his body. 

‘Yes…fuck, Loki.’ 

Tony was panting now and he could do nothing more than fist his hands in the sheets as he was repeatedly assaulted by Loki’s tongue. He knew that if Loki kept this up he was going to come too soon. Tony was so close to the edge, all he needed was one last push. Loki slowly pulled back and a moment later Tony could feel his slicked finger pushing against him before sliding into him. Tony was rocking back now, the hand on his hips doing very little to hold him in place. Loki added another finger, sliding them in and out, teasing him, twisting them this way and that way, stretching and searching for…

‘Ahh! Yes Loki…please…more…I need you. Now.’ He growled the last word, hips jerking when Loki’s fingers brushed over his prostate again. Loki finally relented, pulling his fingers back and gripping his hips to pull him up to his hands and knees. Tony looked back and watched over his shoulder while Loki spread more lube on his fingers and stroked his cock before lining himself up. 

Tony had to stop himself from pushing back when Loki draped himself over his back, whispering into his ear. ‘Brace yourself, Anthony. As much as I want to take my time with you, this is going to be hard and fast.’ 

The way his name slid off Loki’s tongue like velvet made Tony’s breath hitch and he forced himself to relax, trying to follow Loki’s command. It had been years since he’d been with a man and he knew that Loki was very well endowed. He felt Loki push into him and struggled to remain calm, waiting for the slight burning pain to die out. Loki moved agonizingly slow, sinking into him inch by inch, waiting for him to get used to the stretch. Tony felt him hesitate when he’d gone as far as he could and after a few moments it started to drive him mad. 

‘Move…Loki, please.’ 

Loki still didn’t move, staying almost unnaturally still. Tony couldn’t take it anymore. He pulled himself forward and slammed back, fucking himself on Loki’s cock. He turned to look over his shoulder, catching Loki’s gaze. 

‘Fuck me…now…Loki…I can’t…’ he begged. 

That seemed to pull Loki out of his head and the god finally started to move. Loki slowly started grinding into him and Tony dropped to his forearms, moaning and panting into the sheets. He could tell the exact moment Loki lost his control because he quickly picked up the pace and started pounding into Tony, gripping his hips to hold him in place. Tony rocked his hips back into him, finding a rhythm they both knew they wouldn’t be able to keep up for long. Loki reached around him and started stroking his cock in time with his thrusts. 

‘Oh yes…Loki…I’m – ahh – close.’ He moaned. He could hear Loki breathing heavily behind him, his thrusting getting more and more uncoordinated, and knew he wasn’t going to be able to hold off much longer either. Loki kissed the back of his neck. ‘That’s it. Come for me, Anthony.’ 

‘Loki!’ he yelled out as he came, his seed slicking Loki’s hand and his stomach and his muscles clenching around the god’s cock. Loki thrust into him one last time before filling Tony with Tony’s name on his lips. Tony rocked back, riding Loki through his orgasm before Loki pulled out of him, dragging him down to his side. Loki pulled Tony up to his chest and wrapped his arm around his waist, enjoying the way Tony brushed his arm with his fingertips. Tony laid there and just listened to Loki’s breathing slow as he fell asleep, for once not feeling like he had to fill the silence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got this done way quicker than I thought I would and decided to post it early. Hope it doesn't disappoint. Let me know what you think!!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thought I should point out there are depictions of torture in this chapter, in case that bothers anyone. It's not too explicit but I'm warning you just in case.

When Tony wakes up again, it is still dark outside and the spot Loki had occupied when they’d fallen asleep was empty, but still warm. With a sigh, Tony rolls over and scoots slightly into the warmer spot. 

‘Jarvis?’ he calls, intending to ask his AI how long ago the god left. 

‘He is in your kitchen, sir. He appears to be searching for something.’ Comes the reply. 

_Guess I should have shown him where things were at._ Rolling out of bed, Tony grabs a pair sweatpants from his closet and pulls them on, followed by a sleeveless sleep shirt before heading down the hall into his makeshift kitchen/bar. He arrives to find Loki pulling open cupboard after cupboard, definitely looking for something. 

‘What are you looking for, Lo?’ he says, stifling a yawn. Tony glances at the clock on the wall and frowns. It’s not even 4:30a.m. 

Loki turns around and raises an eyebrow at the nickname but doesn’t comment on it. ‘I require something to drink. I was looking for tea.’ He says and turns back to pull open another door. 

_Tea? Do I even buy tea?_ Well of course not. _Tony_ doesn’t buy anything. The team usually has Jarvis send in grocery orders if they want specifics and Tony orders out whenever he’s hungry. ‘Um, I’m not sure I have tea. Steve usually stocks the kitchens so if I do it will be in the cupboard on your right with the coffee I think.’ He says, thinking that surely Steve would put the coffee and tea in the same cupboard. 

Loki pulls open the door on his right and after a moment of looking he smiles, obviously finding what he wants. 

Tony walks over from the doorway and pulls himself up to sit on the counter, watching as Loki moves around the kitchen grabbing a mug and heating water in the microwave before dropping two teabags inside. 

Once he’s added sugar and removed the tea bags he turns to look at Tony who is holding a spoon out to him. Tony has to fight to hold back a grimace as he realizes just how domestic the situation is. 

Loki gives him a questioning look and sets his tea down. He stands in front of Tony’s legs and puts both hands on the counter, framing Tony’s thighs. ‘Did I wake you?’ 

Tony hesitates. ‘No.’ 

‘You are such a terrible liar it almost shouldn’t count.’ Loki smirks. 

He frowns at that, then sighs and leans forward, dropping his head on Loki’s shoulder. He really is tired. ‘It was cold.’ 

Loki laughs, the sound vibrating through Tony. ‘I spend one night in your bed and already you’re spoiled.’ 

‘Sorry,’ he mumbles into Loki’s neck. ‘I was just so used to Pe- ‘ he abruptly cuts off, not wanting to think about her right now or how much he’s missed having someone in his bed – even if he still refuses to admit it to himself. He pulls back to look at Loki before finishing. ‘It’s just been an adjustment.’ 

Loki searches his face for a moment, looking like he wants to ask Tony what he was going to say but he doesn’t and for that, Tony is thankful. ‘It is fine, Anthony. If you’ll give me a few minutes to finish this, I’ll come back with you until you are asleep.’ 

Tony nods and Loki picks up his tea again. The silence stretches on until something catches Tony’s attention. ‘Until I’m asleep? Are you leaving?’ he asks, trying to hide the disappointment he feels at that. Loki looks up and him and shrugs. 

‘I should be going, yes. It wouldn’t do for your little band of friends to find me- ‘

‘But Fury already knows you’re here!’ Tony cuts him off. 

Loki sighs. ‘I know he does. But whether Fury knows or not, I do not trust them. They know I am on Midgard, but they do not know where I am.’ 

_Where _has_ he been staying?_ Tony didn’t even know but decided that question could wait a while longer. 

Tony smiles before calling to his AI.’J, initiate protocol RA5-297’

‘And the password, sir?’ 

‘Xenophobe.’ 

‘Protocol RA5-297 has been initiated, sir.’ Jarvis said. 

‘There you go. No one has access to this floor but me.’ Tony explained. ‘Now, will you go with me back to bed?’ 

Loki hesitates, but gives in. ‘I suppose we can. Lead the way.’ Tony slips down from his spot on the counter and Loki waves him forward. 

_Well that was easy,_ Tony thought. He hadn’t wanted to tell Loki that he didn’t like sleeping alone. Jarvis knew that little tidbit about him, but he had never even told Pepper. He didn’t want her making it a bigger deal than it was. But he didn’t think Loki would use it against him. _How ironic. I told an enemy, but not my gir-EX girlfriend._ Tony laughed to himself while walking towards his bed. 

Tony pulled off his sweats and got back into the bed, holding the blanket open waiting for Loki to climb in. He did and Tony scooted back closer to the god and settled in. Tony enjoyed cuddling as much as he liked having someone else in his bed – or maybe that’s why he liked having someone else with him – but it was another thing he’d deny till death. 

He was tired enough to go right to sleep, but he remembered a question he wanted to ask at the last minute. 

‘Loki?’ he whispered, not wanting to wake him if he was already asleep. 

‘Hmm?’ 

Tony shifted and half turned to look at him. ‘Where have you been staying, since you got back here?’ Tony didn’t know why it was so important, but he had a nagging feeling about it and wanted to know why. 

Loki opened his eyes to look at Tony. ‘In the city.’ He answered. 

_Well_ that’s _vague._ Tony chuckled. ‘Yeah, I figured that much out on my own. But you do actually have a place to stay, right? Where do super villains sleep? An apartment? I mean, I can’t exactly picture you in a cave underground somewhere, but, oh! Do you have a lair?’ And now he was rambling, but he wanted to get the pained expression of off Loki’s face. ‘A lair would be sweet. I’ve got a basement under the tower- ’

Loki closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. ‘No, Anthony. I do not have an apartment. Or a cave. Or a _lair.’_ He replies sarcastically. ‘The All-Father did not see fit to gift me with a place to stay for my indefinite banishment.’ 

Tony lets that sink in for a minute, carefully schooling his facial expression to show no emotion. He makes a split-second decision. ‘You can stay here. I have some empty rooms in the tower, including a few that are on this floor if you want.’ 

Loki looks shocked by the offer, pulling back and eyeing Tony warily. ‘Why would you do that?’ he finally asks. 

‘Because you need a place to stay and I have the extra room?’ Tony says, making it sound like an obvious answer while desperately hoping that Loki won’t put up too much of a fight. 

Tony felt like an idiot. The god had been back on Earth for what, a month and a half or so now? And yet Tony had only _just_ thought to ask if he had a place to stay. _Christ. Am I really_ that _self-absorbed?_ he thinks to himself. Of course, Loki didn’t have anywhere to stay. From what Thor had told the team, Loki and his father had never gotten on very well and if this was supposed to be his punishment it wasn’t likely that his father cared very much where he ended up. And it’s not like Loki knew anyone on Earth, did he? 

‘You are a very odd man, Tony Stark.’ Loki’s voice drags him from his thoughts. ‘But I will accept your offer.’ 

Tony smiles happily, grateful that Loki didn’t protest too much. Or at all really. Actually, Tony thought he’d maybe given in _too_ easily, but he wasn’t going to push his luck. _Yeah. He definitely doesn’t have anyone else here._ Having achieved what he wanted, Tony turns over to go back to sleep, scooting back towards Loki when he feels a hand wrap around his waist. 

Loki sighs. ‘Thank you, Anthony.’ 

‘Sure thing, Rudolph.’ 

Tony closes his eyes and falls into an easy sleep, not waking up until a much more reasonable hour in the morning. 

\----------

Loki moving into the tower was not the big deal that Tony thought it might be. Loki didn’t have much in the way of belongings other than what he kept on his person, so there wasn’t all the hustle and bustle that usually came along with moving. 

Tony showed him the rest of the penthouse floor and gave him his choice of the two empty rooms he had, before leaving him alone to shower. He went into the living room and told Jarvis to let Loki order whatever he wanted as far as groceries went before heading down to his lab. 

Tony lost track of time as usual and he didn’t look up from his work again until he heard Jarvis. 

‘Sir, I thought you should know that Mr. Laufeyson’s heart rate is increasing abnormally fast and breathing appears to be causing him pain.’ Jarvis said. 

‘What? What are you talking about, J?’ Tony replied, setting down the welder he’d be using and flipping his safety goggles up on his head. ‘What is he doing?’ 

‘Sleeping, sir.’ 

Realization dawns on Tony and he jumps up, half running to the elevator. Once the doors slide closed behind him and he feels the familiar pull in his belly that tells him the elevator is racing upwards, he glances at his watch. _Damn._ 3:24 a.m. He’s been in his lab nearly 15 hours. 

‘He still sleeping, Jarvis?’ he asks, drumming his fingers on the elevator wall behind him. 

‘Yes, sir.’ Tony swears and curses himself for putting the lab ten floors away from his penthouse. _Safety precaution,_ Pepper had whined at him, which was nonsense because he’d had the lab built specifically to withstand decent sized explosions – just in case – among other things. 

After what seemed like way too long to Tony, they reached the top floor and the elevator doors finally slid open and Tony made his way down the hall and past his bedroom to the room Loki had chosen. He opened the door and walked to the end of the bed. 

Looking at Loki, anyone could see he was having a nightmare. His body was trembling violently, and he was breathing so fast he was sure to hyperventilate if he didn’t calm down. Sweat was beading on his forehead, and there were unmistakable tears escaping his eyes and trailing down his face. 

_Fuck! This is worse than I thought._ For a split second, Tony stood at the end of the bed in shock, unsure of what to do. He’d had his fair share of nightmares, several that had even morphed into panic attacks once he’d woken up. But he had never been the one doing the waking and he didn’t want Loki to freak out and react badly. 

‘Jarvis, turn the lights on to 10% please.’ He said before moving to sit beside Loki. 

\----------

_Loki was in the room again. If you could call it that. It had more of a cave like feeling, as if the whole place had been carved out of rock. It was the only room he’d been in besides the one they threw him in when they were done torturing him. When they wanted a break in between their sadistic fun_

_He was strapped down to the table, magical restraints not allowing for any movement. He had realized a long time ago that struggling against the bonds never did him and good and that doing so only seemed to encourage his captors. But he had also realized that struggling wore him out quicker. And the faster he wore himself out, the faster he could slip back into unconsciousness and they’d throw him back into his ‘cell’._

_Loki could feel the blade moving against his skin. This wasn’t the first time this had been done to him. No, no. They loved cutting him open, peeling his skin away to see what was underneath. Their only goal was to see how many different ways they could hurt him, how fast they could make him scream. Loki hadn’t screamed yet today, but he knew it was only a matter of time. He could only hold out for so long, even if he didn’t try not to give them the satisfaction._

_He felt the knife draw a large rectangle from his wrist to his elbow. He felt the line of fire that followed and heard the sickening sound as they separated his skin from his body. His breathing sped up, and he felt the tears falling from his eyes. Then came the hands. Tearing through flesh and muscle to reach the bone. He could feel the warm, wet blood dripping down his arm. His vision whited out and he felt the blinding pain when his bone snapped and was torn out of his body. But he didn’t scream._

_He could do this. He could get through this. He wouldn’t let them know that they hurt him, although he was sure that was a lost cause._

_‘The other side.’ Came the voice._

_And then, Loki screamed._

\----------

‘Loki!’ Tony yelled for what seemed like the hundredth time now. He had tried waking Loki up gently, but after getting no response he started shaking him. 

He brushed the hair away the had fallen in Loki’s face and tried again. ‘Wake up, Loki. It’s just a bad dream. You are safe here.’ 

Nothing. 

Tony grabbed his shoulders and shook him again. ‘Loki, dammit, wake up!’ 

Loki’s eyes finally opened and locked onto Tony. ‘Hey, Lo. It’s okay. It’s just me, Tony. I’m going to move now, don’t freak out.’ He said in the calmest voice he could manage, watching Loki struggle to drag air into his lungs. 

Tony started to move off the side of the bed to stand up but was stopped when Loki’s hand darted out and grabbed his forearm and he looked at Tony. 

‘Umm…I can stay, if you want me to?’ He offered when Loki didn’t say anything. He nodded after a moment, and Tony sat back down. Loki rolled onto his side facing away from Tony, and scooted further into the middle of the bed. 

Sighing, Tony sat back against the headboard and fiddled with his fingers. He hated the silence but didn’t think Loki would be up for talking much. ‘Is there anything you want me to do?’ 

‘Can you just, can you talk to me?’ Loki asked quietly. 

_Crap._ ‘Uh, sure. Yeah. I can do that. Talk.’ Tony fumbled for what to say. What on Earth was he supposed to talk about? What a fantastic time for him to have nothing to say! 

‘Did you know that I was kidnapped?’ The words were out before he could stop them. _Oh yeah,_ this _is what he wants to hear about_ Tony mentally kicked himself. Too late now. Loki didn’t say anything, so he went on. ‘It’s the reason I have the arc reactor. A family friend hired someone to kill me, but they realized who I was and decided that torturing me and forcing me to build them a shiny new toy would be more rewarding than murder.’ He heard Loki suck in a breath, but still said nothing. 

‘That’s where the arc reactor in my chest came from. A missile went off in my face, and shrapnel got lodged in my chest. The arc reactor keeps it from reaching my heart and tearing it to shreds. I spent three months in a cave. They beat and drowned me, and they nearly killed the doctor that saved me right in front of my face. All so I would make them a fancy new missile. I have my own nightmares about it, trying to get out of that damn cave.’ Tony’s voice trailed off to a whisper when Loki turned over to face him. 

Loki opened and closed his mouth several times before speaking. ‘You…they tortured you?’ 

‘Yeah. But they got what was coming to them.’ Tony said with a hint of anger. Time to change the subject. ‘You back with me now?’ 

‘Yes. I’m fine now. Thank you.’ Loki said. ‘Go shower now. You smell like sweat and grease.’ 

Tony chuckled at that. He always smelled like that after spending time in the lab. ‘That bad huh? Okay. I’ll go shower.’ He got off the bed and made it to the door before Loki spoke again. 

‘Anthony?’ 

‘Hmm?’ he turned back around. 

‘Come back when you are finished.’ 

Tony smiled but didn’t say anything before he pulled the door open and walked down the hall to his room. He showered quickly, intending to go back to Loki’s room and lay with him until he was asleep before doing some work on his tablet since he wasn’t all that tired. But by the time he got out of the shower, Loki had apparently decided he liked Tony’s bed more than his own because there he was snuggled up under the blankets waiting for Tony. 

Tony crawled into the bed behind Loki and wrapped and arm around his waist, pulling the god back into his chest. He decided that he could afford to lose a couple hours, and fell asleep a lot quicker than he had thought possible. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone is still following this, I have to apologize for how late this chapter is. I've been dealing with some things and with the holidays so close I didn't get as much time to work on this chapter as I would have liked. I can promise to try and do better for the next chapters.
> 
> Also, this has not been beta'd. Please feel free to point out any mistakes so I can fix them.
> 
> Enjoy!!


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A few things for this chapter. This has not been beta'd so please feel free to point out mistakes.
> 
> There's finally some more Steve and Bruce in this chapter for you, as well as some more of Loki's POV. Also, I'm not sure why these chapters keep ending with them in bed, but this chapter was in danger of winding up at 6k+ words so it just worked out that way. Again. 
> 
> Last but not least, I'm sorry for the lack of moving the plot forward in this chapter. I promise it will get better soon.
> 
> Enjoy!

Loki had been living at Stark Tower for a little over two weeks. The nightmare Tony had woken him from was the first of many and had Tony wishing he could do something to help. Every time Jarvis alerted him to the telltale spike in Loki’s pulse, Tony would go to him and wake him as quickly as possible and then spend the next few hours sleeping with the god curled into his chest. Tony had considered offering his bed to Loki, thinking it might help to have someone sleeping with him at night but since Tony rarely went to bed at normal hours it was pointless. So, for now, he would keep to their ‘routine’. 

Right now, Tony had a bigger problem to deal with. Of the Avengers, Steve and Bruce knew that Loki was staying in the tower and their reactions had been surprising, to say the least. 

Tony had decided it would be best if he told Steve first, thinking it would be easier to get him out of the way. Natasha and Clint were off on a mission for Fury and he thought that next to them, Steve’s reaction would be the worst. He was mistaken. 

Steve had taken the news remarkably well. After asking Tony his own motives for trusting Loki and letting him stay on Tony’s own floor he had simply turned to Loki and gave him a small speech – true to his captain nature – and told him not to mess up this second chance he had been given. 

‘This could be a good thing for you, if you let it. I agree with Tony. If you truly have changed and want to learn from your mistakes-’ that had earned him an eyeroll from Loki, but he went on anyways. ‘-I think you deserve a second chance. Take it and make things right.’ Loki stood there with a half-amused, half-annoyed smirk and nodded at Steve. And with that Steve walked back to the elevator and disappeared to his own floor. 

After that, Tony thought he was in the clear, at least until Natasha and Clint came home. Bruce always tried to stay objective and calm so Tony thought he wouldn’t react any more violently than Steve had and Fury and Thor already knew where Loki was. 

Tony went down to Bruce’s floor alone. After Loki’s first encounter with the doctor, he wasn’t too keen on dropping in without warning and had flat out refused to see him until Tony informed him of the situation and even though he denied being scared, Tony thought he’d probably react the same way if roles were reversed. 

He took the elevator down to Bruce’s floor and found him hunched over a table in his lab looking down at a stack of papers. ‘Hey Bruce. Whatcha working on?’ he asked. 

‘Oh just, nothing. Some test results I’ve been waiting on finally came back. What’s brought you down here?’ 

Tony covers his heart with a hand in mock hurt. ‘What makes you think I came down for anything other than say hi to my favorite science buddy?’ 

Bruce looks up, one eyebrow raised. ‘Because you never come down just to say hi. Either you blew something up and need help, or you are going to blow something up and need help. Which is it?’ 

Tony grins. Boy was he right. He hardly ever saw Bruce outside his lab unless they were working on a specific project together and were going over notes or research. ‘It’s neither today, Brucie. Just something I need to tell you before you find out on your own with no explanation.’ He stopped, looking at Bruce and trying to gage his reaction. Bruce just waved a hand for him to go on before looking back at his stack of papers. 

‘Right. So, Loki is back on Earth. Something about redeeming himself in the eyes of his dad and whatnot and making things right with us in New York. Being exiled from Asgard is his punishment just like Thor’s was to teach him a lesson. And I ran into him a few weeks ago in a bar and we have been…talking-’ Tony figured Bruce could do without the details ‘-and I found out he doesn’t have anywhere to stay and so I offered him one of the spare rooms in the penthouse. He’s not a threat to me or anyone else anymore and I have Jarvis keeping an eye on him so you don’t have to worry.’ With some effort, Tony stopped his rambling as he watched the emotions play across Bruce’s face. 

Surprise turned into confusion, which slowly became irritation, that finally morphed into rage. _Uh-oh,_ Tony thought to himself, starting to worry when he thought he saw a green tint to the doctor’s skin. He was already backing up to the elevator when Bruce found his voice. 

‘You did what?!’ Bruce yelled, making Tony flinch. He opened his mouth to speak, to try and explain or diffuse the situation or do _something,_ but Bruce cut him off. ‘he destroyed New York City, Tony. He killed people. He tried to kill YOU! How could you – what were you thinking? Does Fury know what you’ve done, that you’re letting a criminal live in the tower? Do you even know what this-’ he stops abruptly, and Tony can see that he is visibly shaking. He stands there dumbfounded, rooted to the spot in front of the elevator. 

‘Go. Now, Tony. I need to calm down before…GO!’ he yells when Tony doesn’t move immediately. It only takes Tony a handful of seconds to wonder if he should say something, decide its best if he doesn’t and take the last few steps into the elevator. He throws one last look at Bruce and manages an ‘I’m sorry’ before the doors glide shut and he’s heading back to his floor and the God of Mischief. 

\----------

Arriving back on his floor Tony found Loki sprawled on the couch reading a book and trying to appear indifferent, while failing. He knew what Tony had gone down stairs to do and Tony knew that he was waiting to see how things had gone even if he wouldn’t admit it. 

He went to the bar and poured himself a drink before heading into the living room. Instead of sitting on one of the available empty sofas, he brushed Loki’s feet aside and sat down before he could protest. Loki glared at him but the glint in his eyes showed his amusement. He lifted his feet and set them in Tony’s lap, a smirk turning up the corner of his lips. 

Tony ignored it and took a drink. ‘Well, Bruce took it a little harder than I thought he would but he’ll come around.’ He finally said, trying to downplay the reaction he got. He didn’t want to spook Loki into taking off to god knows where. It hadn’t taken much effort to get Loki to stay, but if he thought he was being threatened Tony didn’t know what he’d do. Besides, he did truly believe that eventually Bruce would calm down enough to see why Tony had let him stay there. Tony didn’t know what he would do otherwise. 

Loki didn’t look away from his book but Tony saw his jaw tense for a split second before he got it back under control and sighed. ‘I expected as much. He would be a fool to trust me right away. I tried to take over your world, after all. He has every right to be cautious.’ 

Tony let out a sigh. Tony certainly hadn’t expected Bruce to be so upset and he didn’t like that his decision was the cause of it. He knew it had to be something more than Loki leading the invasion because even Bruce had agreed that Loki wasn’t in his right mind when he’d done it. They had had that discussion in depth and more than once. He would have to go down and talk to Bruce again once he’d calmed down enough but right now he had other things to do. 

He had plans he needed to finish for a new suit he wanted to try out and a meeting to set up between Loki and Director Fury. 

‘Ok then, Rudolph.’ He said, pushing Loki’s feet off his lap before standing up. ‘I’ve got work to do so I’ll be in the lab. If you need something, Jarvis can help you or give you access to the lab.’ 

\----------

Loki didn’t see Tony again for the next three days. Not that he’d been counting. 

Okay. 

Maybe he had. A little. 

He had long since finished the book, _Othello,_ he found in Tony’s library and was on his way to find another when an alarm sounded from seemingly everywhere throughout the floor. 

‘Uh, Jarvis? What is that infernal noise?’ he screeched while glaring at the ceiling. He still didn’t know where the computer sensors were hidden and his habit of looking at the ceiling when addressing Tony’s creation seemed to amuse him so he hadn’t asked the inventor about it. 

‘Mr. Laufeyson, Mr. Stark needs your help in the lab urgently. There’s been an explosion. Please take the elevator down to the lab floor.’ Came the rushed response. 

‘A, what? What happened?’ he asked, already nearing the elevator. He took that last few steps and got in, waiting for it to start moving before continuing. ‘Has he been down there all this time?’ 

‘It is not unusual for Sir to spend long stretches of time working. However, he has not slept in more than 70 hours and I advised him-’ 

At that moment Loki stopped listening, instead taking in the scene unfolding in front of him as the elevator opened and put him right into the lab. 

There had _definitely_ been an explosion, not that he had doubted the servant’s words. So far as he could tell, Jarvis had Anthony’s best interests in mind. 

Several tables and benches were overturned, their contents scattered across the floor. A shelf in the corner that appeared to have different liquids seemed to be melting into the concrete while another one covered in papers was smoking. There was broken glass covering most of the available floor space and behind a raised platform was…

‘Anthony!’ he rushed forward, pushing a chair out of his way as he moved. Tony was laying in the middle of the mess, facedown and not moving. 

Loki dropped to his knees beside him and rolled him onto his side, flinching at what he saw. There was glass embedded in his face in several spots and there were lumps forming above his right eye and cheekbone. Probably from where he hit the floor. 

Loki pushed him further onto his back and put a hand to his chest, trying not to jostle him. 

He was still breathing, just unconscious. 

‘Anthony? Anthony, can you hear me?’ he called softly, trying to swallow the lump that had formed in his throat. He looked around. 

‘Jarvis, what should I do?’ He didn’t have much experience with mortal wounds. Something this minor wouldn’t have even phased him, much less knocked him out. But he knew humans were exceedingly fragile. 

‘I would recommend an ambulance but I am strictly forbidden to alert them as he still has a pulse. Perhaps you should get the first aid kit and remove the glass from the wounds in his face.’ Jarvis supplied helpfully. 

‘Okay. Where is the first aid kit located?’ 

‘Left corner by the elevator, in the cupboard under the coffee maker, sir.’ 

He crouched down further and put one hand behind Tony’s shoulders and the other behind his knees and stood up with him, intending to move him out of the glass. Looking around he noticed there was a cot on the same wall where the coffee maker was and Loki gently lowered Tony’s form onto it before retrieving the first aid kit. 

He found the items he needed and set to work removing the shards of glass. None of them looked deep enough to need stitches, but maybe he’d offer to heal them when Tony woke up so they wouldn’t scar. 

Loki had just pulled the last piece of glass out when Tony shifted and started to mumble. Setting down the tweezers he had been using and took one of Tony’s hands in his. 

‘Anthony? How does your head feel? Can you open your eyes for me?’ he watched as Tony’s eyelids flutter once, twice. Finally, they opened and brown eyes searched out green ones as Tony focused on Loki’s face. 

‘What happened?’ he asked somewhat groggily. 

Loki chuckled, relieved that he was at least awake and talking. _His wounds can’t be too severe then. Thank the Norns._

‘I would ask you the same. Your servant said there was an explosion and that you required some assistance. I’ve just removed the glass from your face but that seems to be the worst of your injuries, unless you have a concussion. What were you doing down here?’ He put a hand on Tony’s shoulder and held him still when he tried to sit up. ‘Lay still for a moment. Tell me what happened and then I’ll help you upstairs if you wish.’ 

Loki waited for Tony to relax back into the makeshift bed before removing his hand and raising up from his spot on the floor to sit in front of Tony on the cot. 

Tony closed his eyes and shook his head, stopping quickly when his face distorted in pain. ‘I, uh, I think I was fiddling around with some new repulsors. Trying out a new version, and, ugh.’ He groaned. ‘Jarvis? Help me out.’ 

‘Sir, actually you were rewiring the newest model and your hand slipped, allowing the wires to 

spark an explosion.’ Jarvis replied. 

Loki didn’t know exactly what all that meant but he got the gist of it. 

Tony tried to sit up again. ‘Dammit. J, start some coffee. I need to get back and make sure-’ 

‘Sir, if I may sugg-’ Jarvis cut him off at the same time Loki grabbed his arm to stop him standing up. 

‘Anthony, if you finish that sentence so help me I will make sure you dearly regret doing so. Your servant informed me you have been awake down here the last three days and I know it to be true that that isn’t safe for you humans. There is nothing in here that cannot wait until you’ve had a few hours’ rest.’ He shot Tony a look that left no room for argument. 

‘Now, you will go upstairs and get some sleep if I have to physically keep you in bed. Are we clear?’ And dammit if that was worry he heard in his voice. He hoped Tony hadn’t caught on to that. He needed to figure out why Tony affected him so before trying to explain it to anyone else. But right now, his emotions and feelings would have to wait until he got Tony upstairs and safely into bed. 

Tony sighed and gave Loki a half-hearted glare before giving in. ‘Yeah. Fine. Okay. J, lock it up and schedule a clean-up.’ 

‘Yes, sir.’ 

Loki put an arm around his waist and started to pull him to the elevator, noticing Tony’s lack of resistance. ‘Do you do this often, Anthony?’ he asked when they had made it into the elevator and the doors closed behind them. 

That earned him a chuckle. ‘Blow up my lab? No. I mean, not nearly as often as I used to anyways.’ 

He kept his arms around Tony – to steady him, he told himself – but shifted so he could see the man’s face better. ‘No, I meant go days and days with no sleep. What’s the bed in there for if you don’t use it when you need to?’ Loki understood all too well not wanting to sleep. He hadn’t forgotten that first nightmare he’d woken Tony up from or the ones that followed, but to risk serious injury? That seemed a bit extreme. 

Tony pointedly ignoring his gaze told him that he was right. Tony was scared to sleep and would go as long as he could without it. ‘I don’t need to sleep.’ He muttered petulantly. 

‘Contrary to all evidence stating otherwise, right?’ Loki asked, eyebrow raised. ‘It’s okay, Anthony. I get it. I know what it’s like to be afraid to close your eyes, to let your guard down.’ 

_What? Where had that come from?_ He started to pull back but Tony stopped him, leaning forward and dropping his head down to rest on Loki’s chest. Loki rubbed a hand down Tony’s back. ‘Yeah, I suppose you do.’ Tony told him. 

The doors open behind him and Loki pulls Tony out, heading down the hall and towards Tony’s bedroom. When they reached the door, he pushed it opened, walked in and nudged Tony in the direction of the bed. 

‘Lay down. I’ll be right back.’ He told him before walking back out to the kitchen to get Tony a glass of water. If the man hadn’t slept the last three days, Loki doubted he had eaten and drank anything either. 

When he walked back in to the bedroom Tony’s jeans were tossed on the floor and the man was in bed, covers pulled up almost over his face. He walked around the bed to stand in front of him and held out his hand with the glass. 

‘Anthony, drink this.’ He said quietly. 

Tony pulled the blankets down and took the offered glass, not hesitating before drinking it down in three large gulps. Loki took the glass and set it on the table beside the bed and waited until Tony had laid back down before he started for the door. Surely Tony would fall asleep quickly. 

‘Loki?’ he heard Tony whisper. He stopped and turned back around. 

‘Hmm?’ 

‘Stay. Please?’ Loki could hear the tension in his voice. Tony hated asking for help and Loki understood that more than anyone. 

He smiled reassuringly. ‘Sure.’ He walked the few steps back over to the bed and, after shedding his pants and shirt as well, climbed in behind Tony. He would do this for him. After all Tony had done this much for him more than once. Staying with him to chase away his own demons after particularly bad nightmares. 

After hesitating for just a moment he draped an arm around Tony’s waist and pulled him in slowly until the man’s back was against his chest. He pressed kiss to his neck and felt Tony take a deep breath. 

Tony cuddled closer to Loki’s chest and relaxed into the pillows. Loki heard his breaths level out moments later and knew he had finally fallen asleep. 

Now he could think. 


	7. Chapter 7

Of all the words that had been used to describe Loki – liesmith, trickster, monster – _indecisive_ was not one of them. Loki was confident, he knew what he wanted and he knew how to get it. 

So, finding himself in bed with an arm wrapped around Tony’s waist, unable to decide what he really wanted out of the man, well, it was a foreign feeling to say the least. 

He couldn’t recall the last time he had been so affected by another person, mortal or Asgardian. Loki lay there nuzzling Tony’s neck and breathing him in, lazily tracing patterns across his stomach while he slept and wondered when he had started to care for the man. 

Probably sometime between Tony not treating him like a monster and giving him a chance and now, he figured. 

He had long since given up any idea of finding another being to care about. Ever since he’d fallen from the bifrost he knew finding solace in another wasn’t going to happen. No one would ever be able to give him what he needed and he’d have a hard time finding anyone willing to try after all he had done. 

So, when Tony had shown interest in him that first week in the bar he had shrugged it off as a whim and decided to use Tony to help pass his time here, for amusement and nothing more. But something had changed since then, ever so slowly. Over their time talking at the bar and then that night Loki had driven him home, something was different about this man. 

He had asked Loki to _stay._ He knew who Loki was, that he had led the invasion – even if he didn’t have all the details – and he had still asked him to stay while he was in a most vulnerable state. It was then that Loki had started to hope. 

Even though he knew Anthony would never want him, Loki knew he didn’t deserve someone like him. But he couldn’t stop himself from wanting. 

Loki groaned, frustrated in his confusion. He was becoming attached. That much was clear. He enjoyed spending time with Anthony, enjoyed being needed for something. Anthony was intelligent beyond most others he’d come across; he was witty and caring and honest and he could keep up with Loki’s banter like they’d been doing it all their lives. He liked this mortal and was becoming less and less willing to let him go. 

But he couldn’t, wouldn’t do that to him. The man that had told him he deserved another chance. The one who had started to break down his defenses, if only a little at a time. He would not inflict more pain and chaos into his life when he already had so much going on in his head. 

No. He would keep these thoughts and emotions to himself and not take anything more from Anthony that he didn’t willingly give. And when the time inevitably came for it he would walk away and let the mortal live out his life free from the chaos that Loki attracted. 

At this moment, though? Anthony had asked him for something and Loki would give it to him; he would stay until he got some sleep. He sighed and pulled the man closer to his chest, closing his eyes. 

\----------

Tony had slept well for the first time in days. When he woke up he felt for the warm body that had been there when he fell asleep and found nothing. Glancing around his room he found him sitting in the chair by the window that looked out over the balcony, reading a book. 

He threw the covers back, intending to get up to shower and wash off the dirt and grime and blood from all the random cuts he had. But the second he stood up his vision went fuzzy around the edges and his head got that telltale feeling like it was going to float away from the rest of his body. 

Thank gods for Loki’s fast reflexes, or he’d have fallen flat on his face. But Loki was out of the chair and had crossed the distance between them before he could take another step, pushing him back down on the bed with a firm hand on his shoulder. 

‘You need to rest, Anthony. One short nap isn’t going to cut it this time.’ Loki said while trying to pull the thick white comforter back up over him. 

Tony grabbed his hand to stop him. ‘But I’m hot. And I need to shower.’ He protested. 

Loki wrinkled his nose at that proving his statement. ‘Yes, you do.’ He looked from Tony to the bathroom and then back at Tony again, clearly debating something with himself. Loki sighed and held out a hand as if to help Tony up. 

Tony paused, smirking. ‘I’m a big boy. I can get to the shower all by myself.’ He appreciated Loki trying to help him, but really? It was only a few steps to the bathroom and the dizziness had faded away for the most part. 

Loki didn’t drop his hand. ‘Of course you can. I’m still going to help you.’ He said, using a tone that would be better suited to use when dealing with a small child. 

Tony gave in. There was no way Loki was going to let it go if the look he was giving Tony was any indication. ‘Fine,’ he muttered. ‘But I can at least walk myself.’ He threw his legs back over the side of the bed and Loki took a step back to make room for him to stand up. When he did the edges of his vision blurred again but he managed to remain upright. 

He took a few slow steps, not wanting to give the God any reason to wrestle him back to bed. Loki moved to his side and set a hand on his elbow to steady him. They made their way into the bathroom and Loki leaned on the counter watching as Tony turned the showerhead on. 

Tony had pulled his shirt off and was reaching for the button on the waistband of his jeans when an idea popped into his head. 

‘Want to join me?’ he asked, keeping all implications from his tone. ‘I mean, you’re already in here so…’ Tony tugged his jeans and boxers down completely unashamed. 

An unreadable expression flittered across Loki’s features before he nodded and smiled at Tony. ‘Might as well accomplish two things at once.’ He started to pull off the green tunic he was wearing. 

‘Two things?’ Tony asked him, eyebrows raised. 

Loki nodded at him. ‘Yes. I can shower myself while also ensuring you don’t succumb to another dizzy spell and fall in the shower. I can’t imagine that would feel good.’ His hand moved to the band of his pants where he unlaced them and slid them down over his hips and kicked them off, pushing them out of the middle of the floor. 

Tony turned back around and pulled open the door to the walk-in shower. Not that he had any qualms about being in close contact with Loki – obviously – but he was rather grateful that he had had the shower built big enough for six people, maybe even eight if they really tried. 

He stepped in and Loki followed, pulling the door shut behind them. Tony leaned against the far wall of the shower under one of the showerheads and closed his eyes, relaxing into the warm spray. When he opened them again he found Loki staring at him intently, mild curiosity and worry coloring his features. 

‘Are you okay, Anthony?’ he asked softly, moving half a step closer. 

Tony stared back at him searching his face. Something was off. Different. Changed about Loki that he couldn’t quite put his finger on. Sure, Tony enjoyed the attention; attention was something he did very well. And Loki’s demeanor was probably mostly due to the lab accident, but there was something else there too. He looked genuinely concerned, like he actually cared about Tony. Is that what this was? 

Tony shook his head and brushed it to the back of his mind, filing away the information for later. ‘I’m fine.’ He answered. ‘Just feel like I was run over by a bus.’ Tony chuckled at that. ‘I guess experiments gone bad will do that to ya.’ 

‘Come here.’ 

Tony stood up straight and took the two steps to Loki, not bothering to question what he wanted. Loki gestured with his hand for Tony to turn around and then put his hands on either side of Tony’s neck and started massaging his muscles. He expertly worked his hands, easing the knots and moved his hands out across Tony’s shoulders before going further down his spine. 

Tony practically purred at the touch. ‘Hmm. That’s, yeah. That’s perfect.’ He murmured. 

Loki chuckled as he worked out a knot in his back. When he was done, he brushed his fingertips halfway back up his sides and wrapped them around Tony’s waist, clasping them in front and resting his chin on Tony’s shoulder. 

‘Better?’ he asked. Tony nodded and leaned back into Loki’s chest. 

Loki stood there for a few seconds. ‘Good. Then get washed up so you can get back into bed.’ He patted Tony’s hip and pulled back from him. 

Tony turned around. Loki was watching him again and Tony noticed the look from earlier. The look that told him something had changed, he just didn’t know what. Before he could change his mind, he leaned forward and captured Loki’s lips with his own. After a split second of hesitation Loki returned the kiss with enthusiasm, sliding a hand up Tony’s back to rest of his neck and pull him closer. Tony put an arm around his back and swiped his tongue across Loki’s bottom lip, sliding it past cool lips when he was granted access. 

The kiss was remarkably unlike anything Tony had ever experienced before – and he had experienced _a lot._ It was easy, unhurried, kissing just for the sake of kissing, just to feel and nothing else. Tony angled his head back to deepen the kiss, tongue twisting with Loki’s. 

_I could get used to this,_ he thought. 

Loki groaned and pulled away, slipping both his hands down to grip Tony’s hips. His pupils were wide and his face was flushed and Tony grinned at him. 

‘As much as I enjoy this, Anthony, there will be more time for it later, after you’ve rested.’ 

Tony’s grin fell into a pout but Loki ignored it. He picked up a bottle of shower gel from the shelf on the wall and squirted some onto the loofah Tony used and passed it to him. Tony took it and soaped himself up meticulously, grateful to feel clean again. When he was finished Loki did the same, not caring about using the same sponge as Tony. 

When they had both washed their hair and got out another thought dawned on Tony. ‘Do you have any other clothes to wear?’ he looked at Loki while dragging on his boxers. 

Loki just shrugged. ‘No. But it’s not as big of a deal as it is for you Midgardians. These are easy enough to keep clean with simple magic.’ He answered while a flash of green light burst from his fingertips, performing said magic. 

Tony hummed thoughtfully before walking out of the bathroom door and over to his closet. He grabbed two pairs of sweats and two long sleeved shirts and took them back to the bathroom. 

‘Here. You can wear these tonight and you can have Jarvis order you clothes tomorrow.’ He said while handing a set to Loki and pulling the other set on himself. 

If Loki was going to insist on him resting, he would at least be comfortable while doing it. After he had brushed his hair he went back into the bedroom and glanced at the clock before deciding on a late dinner. He didn’t know why the mishap in the lab had taken so much out of him – probably because he hadn’t been taking good care of his body since pepper left – but he figured there wasn’t much he could do about it now. He’d just have to listen to Loki and really, that wouldn’t be all that hard. 

The attention Loki was giving him, even while being so drastically different than what he’d come to expect from the god, was endearing. Tony enjoyed seeing this different side of Loki. 

‘Loki?’ he called. 

‘Yes, Anthony?’ Loki’s voice came from right behind him, startling him. 

‘Are burgers okay with you for dinner?’

Loki rolled his eyes. ‘You really should learn to eat healthier. It would do your body a world of good.’ 

Tony didn’t respond. He could understand why Loki thought he needed to get more sleep, as well as why he thought Tony should drink less alcohol, but if Loki thought he was going to give up cheeseburgers, he was going to be disappointed. 

‘That’s fine. If I may, I can obtain food and stock your kitchen. Then you wouldn’t have to eat take out all the time.’ 

‘Whatever you want, babe.’ He got back into bed after grabbing the television remote muttering about pushy gods and teaching old dogs new tricks. ‘But tonight, what kind of burger do you want? Have you ever had one before?’ 

‘No I haven’t.’ he responded and chuckled at Tony’s reaction to that. ‘Whatever you’re having will be fine.’ 

‘Jarvis? Double my regular order and tip them so they’ll make it quick. I’m starving. Let them up when they get here.’ Tony said and then turned back to Loki. ‘They don’t usually take more than thirty minutes so not long. He flipped the television on and pulled the covers back so he could make himself comfortable. Once he had sat down against the headboard and stretched his legs out in front of him he patted the bed beside him invitingly. ‘Do you, I mean uh, do you want to watch a movie with me?’ 

Loki cocked his head to the side. ‘A movie?’ 

Tony smiled. ‘Yeah. You probably don’t have-’ he started but Loki cut him off. ‘I know what movies are, Anthony. Yes. I’d like that. What do you suggest we watch?’ 

Tony grinned. ‘Oh that’s easy. We’ll start with Lord of the Rings.’ On cue, Jarvis started the movie and Loki settled down on the bed next to Tony. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So there is a terrible lack of plot development in this chapter and it's really short. My apologies for that. I promise it will pick up shortly. There will be some Fury action next chapter, Natasha and Clint will return to the tower and Bruce will have a chat with Tony.
> 
> Quick question - do you prefer shorter, quicker chapters? Or longer chapters that may take a but longer than a week to put up? Please comment and let me know!
> 
> Hope everyone had a safe holiday!!


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long to get out. Still about the same length as the others and I wanted to wait till I have chapter 8 and 9 but this took way too long already. I feel like there is something missing but I've been reading and reading over this and can't pinpoint it so here you go.
> 
> Enjoy!

By the end of the three hour movie Tony found himself pressed against the gods side, having been drawn in by his warmth. When the credits started to roll, Tony turned off the television and glanced at the clock on his bedside table. It was only 8 p.m. and after lying in bed for most of the day doing nothing he wasn’t nearly tired enough to go to sleep. He was itching to go downstairs and spend time in his lab but he knew Loki would probably have a fit. He would definitely need to get down there soon though, even if just to make sure everything was cleaned up properly. 

He turned on his side and looked up at Loki, who had his arms folded behind his head and his eyes closed. Tony took in his face and the peacefulness he displayed before talking. ’You awake, Lo?’ he whispered, not wanting to wake him if he was truly asleep. 

He hummed in response but didn’t move. ‘Mhmm.’ 

Tony propped himself up on his elbow. ‘I’m not tired. I haven’t done anything all day.’ 

Loki opened his eyes at that and turned slightly to look at Tony. ‘Did you have a specific activity in mind that you’d like to do instead?’ 

Tony smiled knowingly. Normally he would jump at the opportunity but for once he was interested in something else. ‘Talk to me. For all the time you’ve been here I hardly know anything about you.’ And okay, he didn’t know where _that_ had come from but he found himself genuinely interested in learning more about the god. 

‘That is because I am a private person, Anthony. Surely you can understand that.’ He looked at Tony and sighed. ‘But I guess I can humor you for a bit. What would you like to know?’ Loki said with a hint of uncertainty. 

He thought about what he knew about Loki and what he most wanted to know before answering. ‘Well, what was life in Asgard like? Your family? I only know bits and pieces and they all came from Thor.’ 

Loki’s eyes narrowed at that. ‘Thor doesn’t know anything about me. He’s a witless oaf who is holding onto a ridiculous notion that we’re _brothers.’_ He snapped, no small amount of venom leaking into his voice. He took a deep breath to calm his sudden rising temper. 

‘He told us on the helicarrier that you were adopted. But he was defending you. The way he talks about you, it’s clear he still considers you brothers.’ Tony said quietly. 

Loki scoffed at that. ‘Of course he does. He thinks that just because we were raised together that we must have some unshakeable bond. He doesn’t realize that it was broken long before I ruined his coronation. I was constantly put down, passed over for the all mighty Thor, the future king of Asgard. That doesn’t exactly incite warm brotherly feelings in oneself. It never mattered how many times I saved him and his band of misfits from trouble, they still mocked me. Mocked my magic, the way I fought, even my body. I was _never_ his brother. I was just there to make him look good. I’ve always been a monster, a f-fr-’ he choked on the words, breathing heavily like he’d been running. 

Tony held a hand out over his chest and waited for him to nod before touching him. He ran his fingertips over his chest then, tracing soothing circles on the pale flesh. He knew what it was like to be constantly compared to another person. Howard had idolized Captain America while he was growing up and he always made sure Tony knew how much better he was. He knew what it was like to be betrayed by someone you were close to and how it felt to think you were a monster that wasn’t fit to be loved. Tony still felt like that most days. ‘You are not a monster, Loki.’ 

When he got control of himself again he put a hand over Tony’s and held it there. ‘Are you ready to sleep yet, darling? I don’t wish to discuss this any further, but I could tell you a story if you wish?’ 

Tony smiled at the pet name he had used and his offer of a story. Tony could listen to his voice for hours no matter what it was about, but he knew the god was tired and probably needed more time to get his thoughts under control. So, he gave him an out. 

‘No, but you don’t have to tell me anything else. I’ll let you sleep, babe.’ He said, slipping in his own favorite pet name that he’d been using increasingly frequently. Loki didn’t even pull a face when he used it anymore and Tony loved it. He felt rather than saw Loki’s sigh of relief. 

‘Thank you.’ Loki murmured. 

He nodded, knowing Loki would feel it. He half sat up and brushed his lips across Loki’s in a kiss goodnight before settling back down to let him go to sleep. ‘Goodnight, Lo.’ 

‘Goodnight, Anthony.’ 

\----------

Tony laid in the bed curled up into Loki’s side, one arm thrown over his chest and his head resting on Loki’s shoulder and he couldn’t help but think of how happy he was or how long it had been since he felt like this. 

Being with Loki was so easy, so refreshing. The god was brilliant; he was capable of keeping up with Tony and that was something he had craved for a while. He seemed to actually be interested in what Tony was doing. He asked legitimate questions and he never got the glassy-eyed look that most people did when he talked science and engineering at them. Tony was a whole different person around Loki because he never felt like he had to hold anything back, he could be himself. He was comfortable. 

_Unlike Pepper,_ he thought. He had loved Pepper, yes, but he had always felt like he needed to restrain himself around her. Being around her never came this easy for him. 

He didn’t know what this thing was between them. He had no idea how Loki felt, other than that he tolerated Tony. But Tony figured he had to care at least a little after he had gone out of his way to make sure Tony was okay and recovering properly after the lab accident. Ah well. Tony was capable of going with the flow. He would wait and see how things developed. 

He smiled and snuggled closer to Loki and promptly fell asleep. 

\----------

‘What do you want, Stark?’ Director Fury’s gruff voice came over the line. 

Tony had finally gotten back down in his lab two days ago and everything was cleaned up and sorted back into its usual state of controlled chaos. 

He grinned even though Fury couldn’t see him. ‘Awe come on. Haven’t you missed me? I haven’t graced you with my presence in what? A few weeks now?’ 

‘Yes. Since you found Loki back on Earth. I’m still trying to decide whether or not that’s a good idea, letting you two live together.’ Fury said and Tony could hear the disgust from his words. 

His expression faltered a little at that. ‘It’s still my tower, Fury. I allow the team to live her, not the other way around. Amazingly enough I didn’t call you to argue.’ 

‘Go on.’ Fury said grudgingly. 

Tony tapped his foot on the concrete floor, suddenly nervous. He hoped he wasn’t setting Loki up in a trap. ‘It’s about what we talked about, with Loki. I think we should go ahead and get on with it.’ 

‘It’s about time. A car will be there in an hour. Get him here and we’ll discuss the terms.’ 

He laughed loudly. ‘I’ll drive us myself, thanks.’ 

‘You better be, Stark.’ Fury said before ending the call, making Tony laugh again. Both he and Fury knew that he was just trying to maintain some semblance of control because Tony didn’t actually _have_ to go in. Fury would make things difficult for him if he didn’t but it was nothing that Tony couldn’t handle. 

Unfortunately, this was the only way he could think of to help Loki redeem himself and he wanted that badly for him. He wanted the rest of the world to realize he wasn’t that bad of a person when you got to know him. Tony had come to the conclusion that there was no way Loki was in his right mind when he’d tried to take over the world, but he hadn’t found the right time to confront him about it yet. 

He scratched at his beard and stood up, clearing up his worktable so he could lock up the lab and go upstairs to get Loki. 

\----------

An hour and a half later Loki and Tony sat next to each other on one side of the metal table facing Fury directly on the other side. Fury had his hands folded in front of him and his one eye trained on Loki as if waiting for him to lunge. Loki just stared back impassively. 

Tony counted to 100 in his head before deciding Fury wasn’t going to break the silence. ‘So let’s have it, Fury. What are your terms? I know you probably have some ridiculously long list of rules.’ 

He saw Loki tense beside him out of the corner of his eye and started to reach over to put a hand on his arm but thought better of it. ‘It’s just what we talked about, Lokes. It only applies while you are working with SHIELD.’ 

Loki glared at him and Tony had to suppress a laugh. Gods forbid word get around that Loki was helping SHIELD. But there was no other way to do this – that Tony could figure, anyways – that was going to accomplish what they needed. 

Tony looked back at Fury who was regarding them with a curious expression as he leaned forward from his chair. ‘Yes, Stark. There are going to be rules. We are not going to blindly trust a war criminal, even if we don’t have a choice in letting him remain on Earth. I have contracts drawn up that you will be legally bound to comply with, should you sign.’ Fury looked at Loki before continuing. ‘I’ve spoken with Thor as well and he has informed me that the only way you will be bound to follow a contract is if it’s a magical contract. Is that something you can manage, or should I have Thor come down here?’ 

Loki bristled at the underlying threat, but he had expected the magical contract bit. None of their prisons could hold him for very long so a regular contract wouldn’t do much to him if he decided not to play their games. He had not, however, expected Thor to volunteer to bind their agreement himself. Wanting to avoid that, he answered. ‘A magical contract is pretty simple. I can manage. Thor has no need to be involved.’ 

‘The terms?’ Tony asked impatiently. 

Fury shifted back into his chair and looked directly at Loki. ‘As far as I am concerned, you are getting off with little more than a slap on the wrist. The only reason I am even agreeing to this is to avoid an all-out war. Personally, I think you could better serve a sentence in a cell for the next thousand years. The terms I’ve decided on are non-negotiable. 

‘You will assist Shield for no less than three years. Since your little attempt at world domination, we have come to realize we are under prepared to fight beings from other worlds. You are going to help us with that. You’ll give us whatever information you can to improve our weapons, as well as help train new Shield agents. You will be publicly apologizing for your attack on our planet.’ He paused then, waiting for one of the men to protest as he certainly expected they would. When they didn’t he took a breath and continued. 

‘Last but not least, you will help Shield develop the technology to restrict or block magic. Should any other beings come to this planet with magic sticks, we’d like to be capable of stopping them.’ 

Tony spoke up then. ‘No.’ 

‘Mr. Stark, you are not in a position to argue with me.’ Fury said. 

‘Sure I am, since I fund 90% of your little projects. I said no. He will not help Shield develop any sort of device. You want magic restricting technology? Fine. But Dr. Banner and myself will create it. I trust you less than you trust me and I am not going to throw him into your trap.’ Tony retorted, scowling. He saw it from a mile away. Fury wanted to experiment on Loki and his magic and he’d be damned if he was going to let it happen. 

Fury glared at him. ‘I don’t know what you’re talking about, Stark, but if you can get Dr. Banner to agree I will allow it.’ 

_Shit,_ Tony thought. Bruce didn’t like the idea of Loki even being in the tower, how was he going to get him to actually work with the god? 

‘That’s settled then. We’re leaving now.’ Tony stood up to leave and motioned to Loki to follow him. 

‘Sit down. Contracts still need to be signed, or there’s no deal.’ Fury said. 

Tony sighed and sat back down. ‘I don’t need to sign a contract. You’ll get your device if you hold up your end.’ 

Fury looked smug. Too smug for Tony to be comfortable. ‘That won’t be all, Stark. Since this whole nightmare was your idea in the first place, you will be housing Loki for the duration of the contract. Do remember I have eyes and ears everywhere, so don’t try anything.’ 

_Well that’s not so bad._ He hadn’t planned on tossing Loki out regardless. In fact, he quite liked having the trickster around. 

Tony laughed and rolled his eyes. ‘Wouldn’t dream of it.’ He said sarcastically. 

Fury opened a folder he had on his lap and pulled out two sheets of paper. He glanced down at them and then slid one across the table to Tony and one to Loki and then handed Loki a pen. He looked at Loki and rested his hands on the table. ‘Will this work? Or do you need something else?’ 

Loki didn’t take his eyes off Fury. ‘This will do.’ He answered, before taking the sheet of paper and looking over it, adding his signature at the bottom next to Fury’s and picking up the paper again. Tony’s eyes widened when Loki’s hands were engulfed in a green glow and the signatures scribbled at the bottom glowed gold. A moment later they were back to inky black and Tony wondered if he had imagined the entire thing. 

‘What happens to you if you break the contract?’ Fury asked. 

Loki took a deep breath and narrowed his eyes at Fury. ‘I do not wish to discuss that with you. Suffice it to say that the consequences are severe enough that I’m not inclined to break the terms of our agreement.’ Fury responded with a glare, but he couldn’t hide his smirk. 

Tony cut in. ‘You can send mine to my lawyers. Now, if you don’t mind I’d like to go home.’ He said and slid his contract back across the table to Fury and stood up. Loki followed him and they walked back out of the building and to the car. 

When they were both inside and Tony had steered the car back to the main road, he let out a breath. ‘Well, that went better than I expected. The press conference he wants you to do will suck, but I’ll have Pep-’ Tony stopped himself. For a moment, he had forgotten that he didn’t talk to Pepper anymore. He hadn’t seen her since that day in the tower almost two months ago and he had only talked to her on the phone about her maintaining her position in the company. After that he had refused all her calls. Jarvis had been standing in for her making sure he knew his schedule and made it to meetings on time, but he thought he might need to hire an actual assistant. 

‘Anthony?’ Loki’s voice broke through his thoughts. 

Tony glanced at him. ‘Hmm?’ he had lost his whole train of thought. 

‘Press conference?’ Loki asked. 

‘Yes. He wants you to publicly apologize and I’m assuming the best way to do that is a press conference. I can set it up for you when you decide you want to do it. Fury didn’t give you a deadline.’ He said, drumming his fingers on the steering wheel. 

Loki only hummed in response and he decided to let the subject drop, driving back to the tower in silence while he thought about the best way to approach Bruce. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I never really pay attention to Fury in the movies, so if he is way out of character, my apologies.


	9. Chapter 9

When they arrived back at the tower Tony decided he would stop off at Bruce’s floor and see if he would talk to him. Tony had been avoiding the scientist and hoping that if he gave him some time he’d come around, but that hadn’t happened. Now that Loki was going to be staying with him more permanently he had to settle things so there weren’t any unwanted ‘Hulk’ episodes. 

He took the elevator with Loki back up to their floor and told him he was going to see Bruce. 

On the way back down to Bruce’s floor he tried to think of what he could say to make him understand. Out of everyone currently living in the tower he hadn’t expected Bruce to be the difficult one to deal with and now he was dreading Natasha and Clint’s reactions even more. 

The elevator doors slid open and he stepped out. ‘He is in the lab, sir’ Jarvis helpfully supplied. 

Tony made his way to Bruce’s lab and knocked on the open door, waiting until he caught the other man’s attention before going in. 

‘Hey. What are you working on?’ Tony asked. 

Bruce put a vial back in the vial rack and sighed. ‘Nothing of importance really, just fiddling around. What can I do for you?’ he said, looking at Tony. 

Tony deflated a little at his stiff tone, but took a deep breath. ‘Well, uh, I, uh, wanted to talk to you about the Loki thing. I know you don’t agree with him being here but he was living on the streets and it’s the middle of winter and I couldn’t leave him out there.’ 

Bruce looked at him and raised an eyebrow. ‘You’ve never taken an interest in the homeless population before, Tony.’ he scowled. ‘Why do you give a damn about _him,_ of all people? He nearly killed you. He’s crazy, Tony. He’s an uncontrollable psychopath and he doesn’t even try to hide it.’ he said, voice snapping at the end. 

And then it clicked. All at once Tony understood _exactly_ why Bruce was having such a hard time accepting Loki. Tony had assumed they’d all need time but this was more than that. ‘That’s it, isn’t it? That’s your problem?’ he almost laughed. _Of course!_

‘You don’t understand, Tony. You can’t.’ Bruce turned his back to Tony and his shoulders drooped. 

‘Actually I think I do. You see him as a monster that doesn’t try to hide. He embraces it instead.’ And Tony mentally rolled his eyes at that because he had gotten a hint of just how much Loki hated himself for the monster he thought he was. But of course this was how it looked to other people. He had tried to invade the world and then showed no remorse. ‘He doesn’t care what everyone else says, while you-’ 

Bruce turned around rapidly and Tony flinched back. ‘While I what, Tony?! Have to struggle to hide the monster I am?!’ his face screwed up at that and he looked angrier than Tony had ever seen him. 

Tony could feel his anger flaring as well. He was tired of the people he cared about thinking they were monsters. ‘No! You are not a monster, Bruce. You are the only one who sees yourself that way.’ He ground out, trying to calm himself and get control of the conversation. ‘None of us see you that way, me especially. You are _good,_ Bruce.’ He said and put as much sincerity into the words as he could. 

Bruce’s expression softened at that but he didn’t say anything. 

Tony went on. ‘You are right, Bruce. I do give a damn about him. I don’t…I don’t know what it is, but I don’t think he was in his right mind before. If you just talked to him, you would see what I see. It’s like talking to a completely different person; he’s not the crazed maniac I thought he was.’ 

Bruce pulled his glasses off and cleaned them on the edge of his shirt. Putting them back on, he looked at Tony and sighed. ‘You’re serious about this?’ 

Tony huffed out a laugh, relieved that Bruce seemed to be coming around. ‘Yeah I am. He deserves a second chance, Bruce. Everyone does. I know that better than most. And he’s, _really_ , he’s not all that bad to be around. He hasn’t started any trouble and he’s been in the tower almost three weeks now. He’s nice to have around.’ He forced himself to stop talking before Bruce picked up on just how much he liked Loki and he embarrassed himself. 

‘You love him.’ Bruce said, but it wasn’t a question. He was staring at Tony intently now. 

‘I, what?’ Tony asked. Apparently, he hadn’t stopped rambling soon enough. 

‘You love him.’ He repeated. ‘At least, you like him a hell of a lot more than you are letting on. This is about more than you just trying to help him.’ 

Surprise washed over Tony’s face before he could school his features into something less telling. ‘I…what?’ he asked, acting like he had no clue what Bruce was going on about. 

Bruce smiled knowingly. ‘You like him.’ He repeated. ‘You really _like_ him. This is more than just you trying to help him. You are actually invested in this.’ 

Tony tapped his fingers on the table in front of him, watching Bruce. He didn’t really want to discuss his developing feelings for Loki with anyone, especially the one person who was having the biggest issues with Loki remaining in the tower, and he was sure that now was the least appropriate situation for it. ‘I do, yeah. But I also want to help him.’ He said truthfully. ‘And, if you are interested, I have a new project that I could really use your help on. So, what do you say?’ 

Bruce considered for a moment and then smiled. ‘You really are a hard man to say no to, you know that?’ 

Tony smirked at him and headed back towards the door. ‘I know. I’ll send you the file I have started for the project and we can start early next week. Sound good?’ 

Bruce shrugged. ‘Sure thing.’ he said. 

Tony closed the lab door behind him and took the elevator back to his floor. 

\----------

Loki sat on the couch in the living room while Tony was downstairs talking to Bruce. He knew that their last talk hadn’t gone as well as Tony wanted and he hoped that for Tony’s sake this time went better. There was nothing he could do to make the situation any better besides leave and even though he wouldn’t admit it to anyone but himself, he really didn’t want to leave. He didn’t have anywhere else to go and he actually liked the tower. He was becoming more and more accustomed to being able to see Tony every day, getting to spend time with the genius. Tony was easily the most intelligent mortal he’d come across and even though he knew he was getting attached, he couldn’t bring himself to care. 

He had only been reading for about 15 minutes when the elevator doors slid open behind his spot on the couch and Tony stepped out. Loki glanced at the man when he walked past the couch and into the kitchen to see him looking far happier than when he’d left. ‘That was quick. Everything go well?’ he asked. 

Tony opened the fridge and then turned to look over at Loki before answering. ‘Yeah. Everything is great. No Hulk appearances today.’ He joked, grinning. 

Loki winced at that, remembering his last encounter with the green beast in the very room he was currently sitting in. ‘Is that something you were worried about?’ he asked. 

Tony laughed. ‘No. Not really anyways. But I’ve been told I don’t have any self-preservation instincts too so…’ he leaned into the fridge and started pulling out food to make himself a sandwich, setting it on the counter behind him. ‘Do you want one?’ 

Loki put his book aside and stood up. ‘Thanks, but no thanks. I ate already.’ He walked over to the bar Tony had started putting his sandwich together on and sat down at a stool. ‘So, is he going to help you with the anti-magic device your Director wants from you?’ 

‘Of course. I just have to send him the details on what Fury wants exactly and he’ll be there. Bruce likes to help, likes to keep busy.’ Tony said, giving only half the truth. He knew Bruce wouldn’t mind helping usually, but he hadn’t told him yet that they’d probably have to do some testing on Loki and his magic in order to create the anti-magic device and he didn’t know how Bruce was going to react. 

Tony stood at the counter finishing up putting together his sandwich. After tossing the food back into the drawers of the fridge he grabbed a bottle of water and closed the door and looked at Loki before deciding on something. ‘I have some work to do that I can’t put off any longer. It shouldn’t take me too long. Then maybe, do you um, want to go for dinner?’ he asked nervously. 

The idea of asking Loki for dinner had been rolling around in his head since their meeting with Fury. Him and Loki hadn’t spent any significant time together since they’d had watched the movie a few days back and Loki was, to Tony’s dismay, sleeping back in his own room. A date, he thought, would be the perfect way to both get to know Loki better and progress their – friendship? Relationship? – further. 

Loki looked startled for a split second before he smiled and nodded. ‘That would be, welcome, Anthony.’ 

Tony smiled back. ‘Great. I’ll make reservations. Be ready at 7.’ He said before leaving to walk down the hall to his office. Tonight was going to be a good night. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So these chapters are getting harder and harder for me to write. My head just isn't in it because I am trying to deal with too many things at once. I will be taking a break until I come back from my vacation 9 (on Feb-11) and I can do this story justice.
> 
> Sorry for the super short chapter =/


	10. Chapter 10

Tony was uncharacteristically nervous by the time Happy pulled up in front of the upscale restaurant he had made reservations at. He was so far out of his element he’d begun to think maybe he should just call the whole thing off and take Loki home.

Tony didn’t _do_ romantic dinner dates. Sure, he’d dined with investors and people from the board, even gone out with friends from time to time. But an actual date? He rarely saw the women he’d been with more than once and Pepper had hardly had the time to go out. 

He wanted this to go well though. He had realized on the drive over to the restaurant that, for probably only the second time in his life, he had found someone he wanted to date. Someone he wanted _more_ from. The only problem for Tony was that he had very few clues to tell him where Loki stood on the subject. They hadn’t talked about any possibility of a relationship, nor Tony’s feelings and Loki hadn’t made any indication that he wanted to discuss his own feelings, if he had any, either. 

So, Tony would do this the ‘proper’ way, because his feelings and thoughts and _reactions_ to Loki’s presence were frustrating the hell out of him. He wanted more out of Loki and if he had to ask him outright how he felt to get what he wanted well, he’d do it. 

Tony took a deep breath when the restaurant came into view and opened his door, He got out and walked around to Loki’s door, holding back a smirk at Loki’s semi-shocked expression. 

‘After you,’ he said, waving a hand towards the entrance. 

When they walked in the front door Tony didn’t make it three steps in before the maître d’ ushered them to the secluded table he had specifically requested. He pulled out Loki’s chair and allowed him to sit down first before moving back around the table and settling in his own seat. After a quick glance at the wine list he ordered a bottle of the best and waited until it was served before they ordered their food. Tony did his best to make small talk, asking Loki how he’d been adjusting to living in the tower while they waited for the food. 

By the time dinner was delivered to their table, Tony was anxious to hear Loki’s thoughts on their relationship. He figured that once he knew how Loki felt that he would know if they had any chance of something more substantial. 

He took a sip and set his glass on the table, watching Loki. ‘Everything okay? If you’d prefer a diff-’he started to ask, unable to stand the silence any longer but Loki held a hand up to stop him. 

He reached across the table and laid a hand on Tony’s. ‘This is perfect, Anthony. I’m quite pleased you’ve finally decided a proper date was in order.’ He said, his tone amused. 

_What?_ Tony thought. _Finally?!_

Tony sat there, mouth slightly open in shock. Loki had never given him any clue that he wanted to be taken out, had he? Tony knew he got wrapped up in his work, but Loki had seemed perfectly content with eating at home and had even a cooked a couple of times that Tony had gotten lost in his work and had forgotten to come up to eat. 

He shook his head. ‘What? You never said-’ he stopped, unsure of what to say. 

Loki raised an eyebrow. ‘Never said what? That I wanted to see you? You’re usually rather busy, but I will admit I was hoping you would take the hint. Perhaps I should have been a bit more forward.’ He smirked. 

‘Forward?’ Tony questioned. ‘I would have settled for not going backwards.’ 

Loki sat back in his chair and studied Tony’s expression. ‘Backwards?’ he finally asked. 

‘Yes, backwards. I hardly see you during the day and you started sleeping in your own bed again.’ He muttered almost petulantly. He felt childish for being frustrated about what he considered petty things, but he wanted to make it clear to Loki just what he wanted. 

He wanted to do this right. Things had gone so well up until a couple days ago when Tony had gotten back into his lab and Loki became distant. 

Loki appeared to consider that, taking a sip of wine and watching Tony intently for several seconds before sighing and setting his glass down. ‘Anthony, you haven’t seen me the last few days because you’ve been down in your lab ignoring the rest of the world. As for me not sleeping in your bed, when I sleep in someone else’s bed I expect them to be there.’ 

Tony thought about that. He had only been falling into bed at four or five in the morning lately and only for an hour or two before he was back down in the lab so Loki had a point there. But surely Loki could have made time to come down into the lab, couldn’t he? Tony had work to do but that didn’t mean he didn’t want to see Loki. 

‘So, make time for you and sleep in my own bed. Is that what it’s going to take, to be in a relationship with you?’ he asked. 

Loki’s expression went from amused to surprised and to curious before he said anything. ‘Is that what you want, Anthony? A relationship with me?’ 

‘Absolutely.’ He responded without hesitation. _Finally_ , he was getting somewhere. 

‘I’m not an easy person to deal with.’ Loki said. 

Tony chuckled. ‘Neither am I.’ 

Loki nodded and smiled at Tony. ‘Then yes. That’s what it will take.’ 

\----------

The rest of their evening passed comfortably after that, conversation coming easily now that Tony had gotten the difficult part out of the way. By the time they got back to the tower Tony was more than ready to take a nice relaxing shower and try to go to bed. 

Walking ahead of Loki towards his room Tony started pulling off his clothes and dropping them on the floor. He heard Loki’s breath catch when he pulled his boxers off and left them in the bathroom doorway. 

He turned on the water for the shower and was stepping in when he heard Loki behind him. He turned around to see Loki standing in the door way. 

‘Want to join me?’ he asked, holding the shower door open. Loki answered with a smirk and started undoing the row of buttons on his shirt. When he was down to just the black briefs he wore, Tony held his breath as Loki slid them slowly over his hips and down his long legs. 

Loki stepped towards Tony and put a hand on his chest to push him further into the shower before closing the door behind him. Loki pushed lightly until he had guided Tony to the far side of the shower, pinning him there with both hands on his chest. 

He looked down at Tony, licking his lips. 

‘What do you want, Anthony?’ he said, leaning in to kiss along Tony’s jaw. 

Tony angled his head to give Loki better access and took a deep breath to steady himself before responding. ‘You. I want you, Loki.’ 

Loki continued his kiss down Tony’s smooth, muscled chest. As he kissed and licked his way down, Tony could hardly hold himself still and when Loki got to his stomach, he let out a low hungry moan. Loki looked up at Tony with a wicked grin on his face and Tony felt his cock twitch in anticipation.

Loki dropped to his knees then and put his hands on Tony’s hips, holding him in place. He wrapped a hand around Tony’s cock and licked the tip before moving his hand and taking the entire length into his mouth. 

Tony gasped at the feeling of being engulfed in Loki’s hot, wet mouth. One of his hands trailed down his chest and he tangled it in Loki’s wet hair. 

‘So good, Loki.’ He muttered. 

Loki moved up and down his cock, alternating between sucking and licking, building up to a fast rhythm. He felt Tony’s hand tightening in his hair and groaned, sending waves of pleasure from the vibrations thought Tony. He moved one hand from Tony’s hip and reached up to cup his balls, rolling them between his fingers. 

Loki watched Tony’s face as he continued. He hollowed his cheeks, increasing the pressure, and could feel the bitter, salty taste of precum and knew Tony wouldn’t last very long at the pace Loki had set. His hips were twitching like he was trying to keep from moving and Loki pulled back and licked at the tip of Tony’s cock. 

Tony whined at the loss, and Loki’s own cock twitched in interest at the sound. ‘Fuck my mouth, Anthony.’ 

Tony groaned and shallowly thrust forward into Loki’s open mouth, coming down his throat just a few strokes later. Loki swallowed around him and then licked his lips, standing up. 

‘You are so gorgeous, darling.’ Loki breathed against Tony’s neck. 

Tony kissed him, tasting himself on Loki’s lips. Loki broke off the kiss and looked at Tony. 

‘Turn around and brace your arms on the wall, Anthony. I’m going to fuck you now.’ He told him, breathing heavily. 

Tony turned around and put his hands at shoulder height on the tiled wall. Loki stood behind him and stroked a hand up and down his shaft, spreading the precum as he went before he leaned forward and positioned himself behind Tony. He grabbed Tony’s hips and with a deliberate push, breached him with the just head of his cock. He kissed Tony’s neck and pressed on, unrelenting until his cock was completely engulfed.

Tony sucked in a breath and bit down on his lip. Loki didn’t move, instead sucking at a point on Tony’s neck and wrapping his arms around the other man’s waist while letting him adjust to his size. 

After only a few minutes of Loki’s sinful tongue dancing along his neck Tony could feel himself getting hard again. He clenched down around Loki, trying to encourage him to move and he felt more than heard Loki chuckle Against his neck. 

‘Patience, darling.’ Loki breathed against him and started trailing a hand up along Tony’s slick chest. 

He sucked a line of red marks across the back of Tony’s neck, occasionally nipping at the deliciously wet skin. He smiled when his thumb brushed across a nipple and he heard Tony’s breath hitch, and he started to slowly rock his hips. He tweaked and rolled Tony’s nipple in between his fingers, trying to draw more of the erotic sounds Tony was making out of him. Loki pulled out and thrust back in, sliding impossibly deeper into Tony than before. 

‘Gods you’re so tight. So perfect.’ He whispered in Tony’s ear, feeling the man shudder at his words. 

Loki picked up the pace then, thrusting roughly into Tony while running his hands over every inch of skin he could reach. He trailed a hand down until it was wrapped around Tony’s cock and he was stroking and squeezing the velvety length. 

‘Come with me now, Anthony.’ He said, panting. He could feel the heat curling in his belly and knew he couldn’t hold on much longer. 

‘Yes. Oh God, Loki.’ Tony groaned before letting go and spurting across the shower wall and Loki’s hand. 

Loki thrust hard inside him once more before releasing his own seed deep inside Tony. _His Tony._

They stood there under the water catching their breath for a minute before Loki pulled out of Tony and stepped back. He turned Tony around and draped his arms loosely around his shoulders as he leaned forward to brush his lips across Tony’s. 

‘You are so gorgeous.’ He said again. 

Tony smiled up at him. ‘You keep saying that and I might start to think you like me.’ He joked. 

Loki released him then and turned around to grab a bottle of shampoo to wash his hair. Tony thought he heard him say ‘a little more than like’ but as Loki didn’t turn back around or say anything else he let it go. 

\----------

Later that night Tony lay in bed with Loki. Loki was cuddled up under the blankets, curled into his side with an arm and leg draped over his chest and thigh. He could feel Loki’s warm breath over his chest and his fingers caressing his side and somehow, to Tony, this felt more intimate than the shower they had shared. He didn’t want to break the comfortable silence, but had something he needed to know that had been nagging him since dinner. 

‘Loki?’ 

‘Hmm?’ 

Tony sighed. ‘Agents Romanoff and Barton will be back in the tower the day after tomorrow.’ 

Loki angled his head so he could see Tony’s face. ‘I see.’ was all he said, waiting for Tony to get whatever was bothering him off his chest. 

Tony took a deep breath. He hated being so unsure of himself. ‘So what do you think we should do?’ he asked. 

Loki placed a kiss on Tony’s shoulder before propping himself up on his elbow. ‘About what?’ 

‘About us. Should we tell them or keep it a secret for now? We don’t really know how they’re going to react.’ He explained. 

Loki’s expression changed abruptly. ‘If you’re having second thoughts already, maybe I should- ’ 

Tony cut him off with a kiss, hoping to convey some of the feelings he was uncomfortable putting into words. ‘That’s not it.’ He said quickly. ‘I’m not having second thoughts I swear.’ He added when Loki merely raised an eyebrow at him. ‘I just don’t want those two causing any trouble. They already watch me too closely.’ He winced just thinking about it. 

Fury had ordered them to keep an eye on him after the accidental overdose, but Tony had seen that coming a mile away – he knew Fury considered him a liability – even before Steve had accidentally confirmed it. But now, Natasha and Clint were coming back and he didn’t want Loki to get the wrong idea, but he wanted a chance to talk to his team members before they realized what was going on on their own. 

‘Lo?’ 

Loki looked at him, watching the emotions play across his face. 

‘Just think about it, okay? Let’s go to sleep and we can figure it out later.’ 

Loki chuckled to himself. _He_ didn’t need to think about it but he thought Tony might need a little more time. ‘Okay. Goodnight.’ 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this chapter is sufficient enough to make up for how long it's been since I last posted. Gonna start wrapping this story up within the next couple weeks hopefully!


	11. Chapter 11

When Tony woke up the following morning, he absently reached a hand out across the bed, intent on dragging Loki closer to him. After groping around and realizing that the bed was empty – empty and cold – he cracked one eye open. 

Damn. Loki was gone. 

He’d thought they had made progress last night. After all, they were officially dating now, weren’t they? For a brief moment, he considered that he had scared Loki off last night with the talk of Clint and Natasha returning and what they should do, but then he brushed that thought away. Loki was not one to be scared or shy away from a challenge. 

Before he could think about it anymore, Loki strolled back into the bedroom wearing a bathrobe that Tony belated identified as his and chewing on a piece of toast. Tony thought he looked adorable. That was the only word for it. He chuckled to himself thinking about the indignant expression Loki would surely have if he voiced his thoughts. 

‘Something funny?’ he asked after raking his eyes over Tony laying on his front, half raised on one arm and the sheet pulled up just past his hips. 

Tony smiled and pulled the sheet back from the other side if the bed in an invitation. ‘No. Where did that robe come from?’ he asked. 

‘The corner of your closet that looks like you’ve never touched it.’ Loki answered, amused. Putting the last of his breakfast in his mouth, he slid the robe off and let it fall into a puddle on the floor before sliding under the sheets. Tony rolled to the side and pressed his back to Loki’s chest, prepared to go back to sleep. 

He startled slightly when Loki spoke next to his ear. ‘You didn’t look like you were getting up anytime soon, so I had breakfast without you.’ 

‘I’m not, I’m sleeping.’ Tony half mumbled, half yawned. He heard Loki chuckle beside him before he fell back asleep. 

\----------

When Tony woke up next, he first noticed the body pressed along his entire back. Loki was cuddled up next to him, half draped over his body, so he knew that wasn’t what woke him up. 

Another pounding came on the door before he heard Natasha yell at him. ‘Tony! Open the door now!!’ 

He heard Loki sigh behind him. ‘She’s been out there for about ten minutes.’ 

Tony rolled away from Loki and out of bed, pulling his shirt on. He’d forgotten that Natasha was the one person with an override code to his floor in case of emergencies. With Pepper gone, she was the only one with any access to the floor aside from him and, now, Loki. 

He walked over to the door slowly, needing a minute to wake up and gather his thoughts. He had known this conversation was inevitable, but he thought he had one more day of peace before her and Barton returned. 

‘What are you going to tell her?’ Loki asked from his spot on the bed, where he was sitting up now. 

Tony grimaced, but didn’t respond, instead turning to open the door. Before he could stop her the red head barged into the room, stopping just long enough to take in Loki’s spot on the bed before turning on Tony. 

‘Stark, what the hell are you doing?’ she asked calmly as if she wasn’t just trying to break his door down. 

Tony raised an eyebrow at her. ‘Well, I _was_ sleeping.’ 

She pursed her lips, waiting for Tony to explain himself. He decided to give her the truth, since she wouldn’t let it go until he did anyways. ‘Loki and I are seeing each other now. I know you guys aren’t going to like it, but he’s not the psychopath we all thought he was, okay?’ he said, looking over Natasha’s shoulder at Loki who was smirking back at him. 

‘I don’t care what you do with him Tony,’ she said, surprising him completely. Whatever he’d expected, it was definitely not that. ‘But how do you know we can trust him? What about Clint?’ 

Ah yes, there was that. Him and Loki hadn’t discussed everything Loki had done and he wasn’t about to do it now, in front of Natasha. He knew that there had been something going on with Loki and that he wasn’t exactly in control of his actions but that’s as far as they’d gotten. He knew it was kind of stupid on his part to not have gotten the answers to these questions _before_ being confronted, but it was too late for that. 

Tony looked from Natasha to Loki and back again before shrugging. ‘There are details that you don’t know. There are details that even I don’t know. I know you’ll all want to sit down and have a huge group chat and we can do that...later. But this is my choice. Loki stays.’ 

Natasha stood there, looking at Tony with an unidentifiable expression on her face for a long minute before brushing past him and out of the room. Before Tony could close the door though, she stopped him. 

‘You have,’ she glanced at her watch before continuing, ‘until 3 p.m. to get your stories straight and come up with a decent explanation as to why you think this is a good idea.’ She said, waving a hand towards Loki. Without waiting for a response, she left. 

Tony closed the door and walked back over to the bed while stripping his shirt back off before sliding under the sheets and sitting with his back against the headboard. 

Loki scooted closer to him and put a hand on his thigh, sighing. Tony could tell his mood had changed dramatically. He seemed suddenly…scared. Vulnerable. Not at all like Loki. 

‘I don’t want to talk about it. It wasn’t exactly a fun time for me contrary to popular belief, and I don’t relish the thought of reliving the experience.’ He had decided that he would give Tony the details he wanted, the details he knew Tony needed. But he wasn’t a fan of having the rest of Tony’s team knowing how truly weak he felt he was. It made him too exposed. 

‘Babe, I think you need to. You don’t have to tell them anything, just me. I can relay what they need to know. I think – Clint deserves to know why, I think.’ And that surprised Tony. He hadn’t thought he felt one way or the other about Clint being mind controlled, apart from the scientific aspect of it. 

Loki moved even closer at this, wrapping his arm entirely over Tony’s thighs and pressing his face closer into Tony’s side. He wasn’t a touchy-feely person with just anyone, but this was Tony. _His Tony._ He lay there for a minute, gathering his thoughts on what he should say and what he should leave out – he didn’t want to frighten Tony after all – when Tony spoke. 

‘Just the subsidized version, maybe? You don’t have to go into gory detail right now, just the basics.’ He said while running a hand through Loki’s hair, playing with the silky black strands. 

Loki chuckled mirthlessly. ‘The basics. Okay. I was _encouraged_ to come here and retrieve the Tesseract for Thanos. He controlled my actions through the scepter and motivated me by – in other ways – to get it and in return I could have Midgard. I realized too late that getting the Tesseract for Thanos would be detrimental to my wellbeing, so I planned things out so you guys would have a chance to win without him catching on to what I was doing. Thor doesn’t wish to believe that, which is why I am here. The only way to prove to Thor and the Allfather is to complete my punishment without causing more problems. Although I don’t know whether I care anymore or not if they believe me.’ Loki pulled back to look at Tony before he finished. ‘But I’m coming to care whether you do or not.’ And fuck, why had he said that? 

Tony smiled at him and cleared his throat, swallowing the lump that had formed there. 

‘I believe you,’ he managed, keeping his voice as steady as possible. ‘It all makes sense. There were several other places you could have opened that portal if you had truly wanted to annihilate u, and we wouldn’t have been able to get there in time. We could hardly track you, let alone set up a defense. I believe you.’ He repeated, bending down to kiss Loki. ‘Now I just have to ask them to believe you.’ 

While Loki knew that getting the rest of his team to believe him would be a monumental relief for Tony, he didn’t care either way. 

_Tony believed him._


	12. Chapter 12

3:15 p.m. had Tony and Loki sitting side by side on his living room couch, listening to the others talk over each other. Natasha had explained to Steve and Bruce what she and Barton had been told by Director Fury, and since then, Tony hadn’t been able to get a word in edgewise. 

He could feel a migraine coming on. He had known this was going to be difficult, and the fact that his team were dealing with more than just one aspect of the situation at once wasn’t making things easier. Tony had had weeks to get used to the idea of Loki being back, of being in a relationship with Loki, and with Loki living in the tower. 

‘How do we know he’s not lying?’ 

‘You’re letting him live here? In the tower?’ 

‘He’s trying to trick us.’ 

‘He’s a criminal.’ 

Loki squeezes Tony’s hand, jolting him out of his thoughts. Tony decides he’s had enough. He enjoys having his team live with him, but Tony Stark has never tolerated disrespect. 

‘ENOUGH!’ Tony shouts, standing up and sliding his hand from Loki’s. Everyone stops talking and looks at Tony. 

‘That is enough. You all want an explanation? Fine. I am more than happy to provide you with one. But you’ll have to _stop talking_ before I’ll do that.’ 

He waits a few moments to be sure he has everyone’s attention before sitting back down and once again linking his fingers through Loki’s. 

‘Now, I don’t expect you to accept this,’ he raises his and Loki’s hands, ‘right off the bat. Frankly, I don’t care if you ever accept it at all. But this is still my tower and I don’t enjoy being disrespected in my own home.’ 

Loki squeezed Tony’s hand at that, and Tony squeezed back before continuing. 

‘Loki was sent here by an evil bastard who is after the tesseract. He was being somewhat mind controlled himself, so he wasn’t responsible for his actions any more than Barton was for his. Regardless, he was sent back here for his punishment, and like Natasha already said, he’s worked out a deal to help SHIELD.’ 

Tony looked around the room at the rest of his team. Steve and Bruce were both relatively relaxed, Clint was still glaring but Tony thought there was a little less heat to it, and Natasha looked more amused than anything. 

Settling his gaze on Clint, he continued. ‘I’m just asking for you to give him a chance, to give us a chance. ‘

Silence. 

Unsurprisingly, Steve spoke up first. ‘I don’t trust him. I don’t think any of us trust him right now, Tony. But I think we can give him a second chance. The second there’s trouble though…’ he trailed off, shooting Loki a pointed look. 

Bruce nodded his agreement, while Natasha looked from Loki to Tony, studying them both before standing up. 

‘I’ll give him a second chance. Don’t fuck it up.’ With that, she stalked off towards the elevator, Bruce and Steve following in her wake and leaving Loki, Tony and Clint in silence. 

Loki sighed before turning to Tony. ‘Can I speak with Agent Barton for a moment please?’ 

Tony glanced at Clint, who nodded. Kissing Loki quickly, he stood up. ‘I’ll be in my lab if you need me.’ He said and sauntered off to the elevator. Once inside, he let go of a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding. 

‘J, let me know if they need a referee’ he told the AI. 

‘Will do, sir.’ 

\----------

Two hours later, Loki came into the lab. Tony set his welder down and walked over to him. Putting his hand on Loki’s chin, he turned the other man’s face back and forth. 

‘Well, I don’t see any cuts or bruises forming, and you aren’t bleeding or limping so I’m going to assume it wasn’t too bad.’ He said, smirking at Loki’s darkening expression. 

‘He couldn’t have left a mark, even if I had let him hit me. We merely _talked_. We have an understanding now.’ 

Tony laughed. ‘And is this _understanding_ going to make my life harder?’ 

‘I wouldn’t dream of it, darling.’ Loki told him, rolling his eyes. Laughing again, Tony leaned up and kissed Loki, arms sliding around his waist to drag him closer. They pulled apart some minutes later, both slightly breathless. 

‘So, what would you like to do today?’ Tony asked, walking backwards toward his elevator, grinning. 

\----------

The weeks flew by for Tony, and before he knew it he and Loki had been together for nearly six months. Loki helped on missions and with strategy the way he was supposed to, and Tony was surprised to find he worked with the team almost flawlessly – even if they hadn’t completely relaxed around him. 

It was Hydra that had caught their attention, when it happened. They were attempting to raid a SHIELD base and the team was engaged with them while Loki was back at the tower, watching the action from Tony’s helmet through Jarvis. 

Loki was pacing. Tony was being reckless, trying to be everywhere at once. He knew the team could handle themselves, but here he was, showing off. 

‘Sir,’ Jarvis’ voice came through. ‘I have detected explosives in the immediate area. I advise you to vacate the premises until the building has been cleared.’ 

Loki could hear Tony telling the others to go. He could see Tony moving towards the rather obvious box, sitting just at the door of the base. And then, an explosion and his screen went black. 

Loki held his breath, not daring to move. His entire body seemed to freeze in terror against his will, while he tried in vain the calm his racing thoughts. Tony had had the suit on. He would be fine. 

‘Jarvis?’ Loki called, trying and failing to keep the panic from his voice. ‘Jarvis, where is he? What’s going on?’ 

Jarvis seemed to hesitate. Subconsciously, Loki knew this was unrealistic for a computer program, but then he spoke, and Loki brushed the thought away. 

‘I’m sorry, sir. It appears the suit was badly damaged in the blast. I no longer have audio or video connection with Mr. Stark.’ 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Major thanks to DracoxHarry aka my brother who has beta'd this entire story for me. Also, my sincerest apologies for the short chapter. The next one is 3/4 of the way written and it will be much longer.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Didn't want to leave the cliff hanger for too long, so here's another chapter for you.  
> Love for my beta - DracoxHarry - who got this back to me in record time.

Clint was the one who came to give him the news. Loki and Clint had come to begin a sort of friendship months before, when Loki had given Clint as many details on his own torture and subsequent mind control as he could manage, and now Clint was more comfortable with Loki than anyone aside from Tony. 

So, when Clint walked out of the elevator to Tony’s floor alone, Loki fell to the floor and buried his face in his hands. 

So, this was it then. 

He knew that Clint wouldn’t be here alone if he didn’t expect Loki to break down, and he wouldn’t expect Loki to break down if it wasn’t bad. 

Loki looked up at Clint and waited for him to say the words he knew were coming. Clint walked over to Loki and dragged him up from the floor with a hand on his arm. Loki steeled himself, and waited. 

‘He’s alive, Loki, but it’s really bad. He’s at a hospital fifteen minutes from here, so you need to come with me.’ 

A sob escaped Loki before he could stop it. He couldn’t bear to lose Tony, not now. 

He’d never been happier than he was the last couple of months. After the initial few dates and run ins with the team, Loki had settled into being with Tony easier than even he’d expected. They were good together. They offset each other well, often keeping each other in line when needed. Tony was the best thing that had ever happened to him. 

Loki had been devastated when the All Father had banished him from Asgard to live on Midgard. Contrary to popular belief, Loki considered Asgard his home, mainly because he’d be damned if he called Jotunheim his home. And he was without his magic! 

But then, he had found Tony. _Tony_ , who knew little of his past and didn’t judge him the way others did. Tony, who had shown him a way to apologize for the things he had done, who had given him a second chance. There was no way he would let go of Tony now. He’d only just found him. 

He nodded at Clint and followed him blindly down to the parking garage lost in his thoughts, and they left for the hospital. According to Clint, Natasha and Bruce were at SHIELD being debriefed, while Steve was at the hospital waiting for word on Tony. 

Twenty minutes later they were sitting in a hallway in the emergency department. Loki was desperate to see Tony, to assure himself that he was indeed alive. No one but the nurse had come to speak with them, to tell them Tony was still in surgery, and Loki thought for sure he was slowly losing his sanity. 

An hour passed, and then two, and still no one came. 

Two and a half hours later, a tall, weary looking man in a white coat was walking down the hallway towards them, looking grim. ‘For Mr. Stark?’ he questioned Steve, who had stood up. 

Loki got up as well and moved closer. ‘That’s us. How is he?’ 

The doctor smiled slightly. ‘He’s alive. He’s stable right now, but the next twenty-four to forty-eight hours will be critical in determining his recovery. He has a cerebral contusion, a perforated ear drum, a fractured wrist, a ruptured liver, a broken leg, multiple lacerations, and burns over a large portion of his chest. We’re monitoring his ICP, we’ve put him in an induced coma for at least the next thirty-six hours, and after that we’ll have to wait to see if he wakes up. 

Loki latched on to the doctor’s words. ‘I’m sorry, doctor, if? _If_ he wakes up? Is there a chance he might not wake up?’ he forced himself to ask. 

‘In cases such as these, it’s hard to say. The helmet he was wearing absorbed much of the blast. Without it he would not have survived the impact. He is a very lucky man. As it stands, we just can’t say for sure. We’re keeping a very close eye on him, and we’re hopeful.’ 

Loki’s heart felt like it was in a vise. Tony, _his Anthony_ , might not even wake up. All at once, he realized just how much he loved and needed the other man. 

‘Can we see him?’ Steve asked the doctor. Loki had all but forgotten Steve and Clint being there, so focused was he on Tony’s injuries. 

‘Yes, but only one person will be permitted to stay with him. The rest of you have fifteen minutes. Come with me and I’ll show you to his room.’ The doctor answered before heading back down the hallway at a brisk pace. 

Just outside the door the doctor stopped to warn them that there were several machines in the room, and that Tony was on a ventilator. 

Even with the warning, Loki was wholly unprepared for the way Tony looked when he entered the sterile white room. 

Tony looked… _beaten._

He was bruised and cut. His broken leg was propped up on one pillow, his wrist on another. There was an IV leading to the top of his good hand, and a thin tube that led under the covers by Tony’s thigh that Loki didn’t even want to contemplate. There were leads all over his exposed chest where there weren’t burns, and where there were burns, the skin was scorched a red-black color and covered in a thick white paste. Part of his head was wrapped in bandages and there was a tube down his throat that Loki assumed was the ventilator the doctor said was breathing for Tony. His eyes were closed and the machines next to the bed were beeping softly. Loki had never seen anyone look so fragile. 

He walked into the room and over to the bed, wanting nothing more than to crawl in next to Tony and hold him. Instead, he settled for dragging a chair from by the wall and sitting down next to the bed. He completely ignored the other two men in the room. He had absolutely no room to be concerned about them seeing him so vulnerable. 

He took Tony’s undamaged hand and held it in his own. He felt absolutely lost. This was an entirely new situation to him and he felt so useless. 

Steve broke the heavy silence. ‘I’m going to go make some calls, update everyone on what we know. Can I get you anything, Loki, tea or coffee?’ 

Loki shook his head and Steve put a hand on his shoulder. ‘Let me know if you change your mind.’ He said, and left. Loki turned to Clint, who was standing by the foot of Tony’s bed, and asked quietly, ‘Do you think he can hear us? If we talk to him, can he hear it?’ 

Clint contemplated the question for a moment before shrugging. ‘I don’t know. The doctor said something about his ear, but it doesn’t hurt to try, in any case.’ Loki nodded and turned back to Tony. 

‘Are you going to stay with him? Steve and I will have to leave soon to be debriefed, but I’m sure Natasha or Bruce can come sit with him.’ 

Loki very nearly growled at that. ‘I’m not leaving him.’ He said. As if it were ever a question! 

‘I thought not. Someone will be back later.’ Was all he said before Loki heard the door shut after him. 

Loki just stared at Tony for several minutes. This could be it. The doctor had said quite clearly that Tony might never wake up. Things would never be the same. At least, Loki certainly wouldn’t. It had taken a major accident, but Loki had finally realized just how deeply he loved this man. He couldn’t lose him now, before he’d even got the chance to tell him. They had never said the words aloud to each other, it was always just _there._

And now, now Loki might not ever get the opportunity to tell him. To hear Tony say it back to him. The thought made him feel sick. He felt the words clawing at his throat now, desperate to get out. He laid a hand on Tony’s hip, careful to avoid all the tubes and wires. 

‘Tony?’ he whispered. “Baby? Babe, if you’re in there somewhere, if you can hear me, you have to pull through this. You have to fight and get better for me. I need you, Tony. There’s so much we haven’t done, there’s so much I haven’t got the chance to tell you, to show you. I haven’t had, _we_ haven’t had enough time together. 

‘I need to tell you how brilliant I think you are. How much I adore how animated you get when you talk about something you are passionate about. I need to tell you I secretly love all the nicknames you come up with for me, and how gorgeous I think you are in the mornings when you’ve just woken up. I need to tell you how much I love you, and I need to hear you say it back, so you have to wake up.’ Loki finished, trying to hold back the tears that were threatening to escape. He started to sing a song he remembered from his childhood, that his mother used to sing to him when he was ill or hurt. He made it almost to the end before the tears finally started falling and when he was done singing, Loki put his head down and _sobbed._

\----------

‘Sir? Sir?’ Loki woke to a nurse shaking his shoulder lightly. He sat up and slowly rubbed the sleep from his eyes, before turning to look at the red-haired woman standing next to him. She looked to be in her early fifties, and she had a grandmother like air about her that immediately calmed Loki. 

‘Yes?’ he asked. 

The nurse smiled at him. ‘Sir, I’m sorry, but you’ll have to leave the room for a short while. I need to check Mr. Stark’s burns for infections and redress his head wound. Why don’t you go to the cafeteria and get yourself a sandwich, dear?’ 

Loki smiled back and lifted Tony’s hand to his lips, kissing him softly before turning to leave the room in search of the cafeteria. Just as he rounded the corner he spotted Steve and Natasha coming towards him. 

He put a hand up to stop them coming further and met them down the hall. ‘They kicked me out. They want to clean his burns and check his head. I was headed to find some coffee, maybe some food.’ He said, waving them towards the cafeteria. 

Steve stopped him with a hand on his arm. ‘Loki, maybe you should go home for a bit while you can. You’ve been here almost 18 hours. Go home. Shower, eat, maybe get some decent rest that’s not in a chair. I can always call you if anything changes. They aren’t even going to start trying to bring him out of the coma for another eighteen hours.’ He said. 

Loki had grown more and more irritated the longer Steve spoke. Go home? How could he possibly go home and rest as if Tony wasn’t lying in a bed, possibly to never wake up again. He struggled to maintain his calm, and spoke his answer through gritted teeth. ‘I’m not going to leave him.’ 

Steve looked about ready to argue, but Natasha took one look at Loki and spoke up. ‘At least let someone bring you a change of clothes and get something solid to eat from the cafeteria.’ 

As far as Loki was concerned, as long as he didn’t have to leave Tony for longer than was absolutely necessary, he didn’t really care what the rest of them did. ‘That would be…appreciated.’ Was all he could manage. They had reached the cafeteria, and he pushed the doors open, intent on getting something to eat so he could get back to Tony. 

\----------

After they had finished their rather unsatisfying turkey sandwiches, Steve left Loki to get him some clothes from the tower. Natasha sat opposite him on the other side of the table, idly playing with her Styrofoam cup. Loki could tell she was gearing up to say something, so he gathered all his limited patience and waited, hoping she would speak soon. 

She looked up from her cup at him and, apparently deciding something, she asked him, ‘How are you holding up, Loki? I know we aren’t the best of friends, but it can’t be easy on you, not having anyone to talk to about this.’ 

Loki knew she was never going to be his best friend. She seemed to have a hard time being friendly to him unless they were working, so he was startled out of his impatience by her question. ‘I, no. It isn’t. Tony is my other person and if he doesn’t pull through this, I don’t know what I’ll do.’ He answered honestly. 

Natasha nodded her head at him understandingly and stood up. ‘He’s a tough guy, Loki. He’s been through more shit than maybe any of us. I can’t promise he’ll be the same, but I know he’ll get through this. Let’s get back up there and see if they’re done yet.’ She said, and he got up to follow her back to Tony’s room. 

When they got there, the nurse was just leaving, and she nodded encouragingly at Loki before bustling off down the hall. Loki went into the room and took up his chair by Tony’s bed, once again taking his hand to hold. Tony looked much the same, aside from a fresh batch of burn cream slathered over his chest. 

‘You’ll be alright here, Loki?’ Natasha asked him, hovering by the door. Loki turned to look at her and nodded. 

‘I’ll call if anything changes. Can you see if Steve will perhaps bring a book back with him?’ Loki needed something to pass they time until they weaned Tony off the drugs, or he would go crazy. 

Natasha nodded, pulled out her phone, and left. 

\----------

Loki was on edge. He couldn’t stop pacing. 

The doctor would be back at any moment to take Tony off the medication keeping him in a coma, and Loki was anxious for Tony to wake up. He wouldn’t not even think of entertaining the thought that he may not wake up - it was simply not an option. But when the doctor came back and removed Tony’s IV, and he didn’t wake up immediately, the doctor said not to be discouraged. It could be anywhere from several minutes to several hours if he was going to wake up today. So, Loki went back to reading his book, while stealing glances at Tony’s face. 

By the time he had finished reading several hours later, Tony had still not woken. The nurse had come by to check on him, but left after a few short words of encouragement. Loki finally took Tony’s hand, laid his head on the edge of the bed, and watched Tony’s face, while praying to any gods who would listen for Tony to wake up. 


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was not beta'd. Any mistakes are mine.

Loki woke to a hand caressing his face, and for a few blissful moments, thought he was back at home in his and Tony’s bed. 

Until he realized he wasn’t. 

He was at the hospital, sleeping next to his lover’s comatose form. But then, that hand had to be…

‘Tony, you’re awake!’ he half shouted, half cried. Noting Tony’s wince, he immediately lowered his voice. ‘You’re finally awake. Let me go and get you a doctor.’ Loki made to pull his hand away from Tony’s, but Tony held on. 

‘Please babe, I’ll be right back. A doctor needs to see you. I need to know if you’re okay.’ Loki tried to reason with him. 

Tony shook his head slightly. He squeezed Loki’s hand and Loki thought he was trying to ask something, but he was struggling around the ventilator. 

‘Tony, don’t fight that. There’s a tube down your throat that’s breathing for you. I just need to get a doctor in here and they’ll take it out. I’ll be quick.’ Loki said, but Tony stopped him again. Loki could feel how utterly weak Tony was by his slackened grip, so he took a deep breath and sat down in the chair again. He desperately wanted a doctor to tell him Tony would be okay now, but Tony was insistent. 

Tony just stared at him. 

Suddenly, it dawned on him what Tony likely wanted to ask. ‘The team? You want to know what happened?’ Loki asked. 

Tony nodded. 

Loki sighed. He should have known. ‘Hydra set explosives off, and they blew up in your face. It was just a small group. Two of them got away, but SHIELD got hold of the other three. You were too close to the explosion, and for a while they didn’t think you would make it. You’ve been in a coma for two days now.’ Loki’s relief at Tony having woken up was evident in his tone and Tony closed his eyes. 

‘You warned the rest of them team in time, so no one else got hurt except for a few minor things. Now, I am going to go and get you a doctor. I promise I’ll be right back, love.’ He said, kissing Tony’s hand and leaving the room before Tony could protest any further. 

It didn’t take long for a doctor to arrive at the front desk after Loki to the nurse that Tony was awake, and they made it back to the room quickly. ‘Mr. Stark, it’s good to see you awake. I am the lead doctor on your case, Dr. Corrigan. I’m just going to check a few things and see how you’re doing, and then we’ll get you off that vent, okay?’ 

Tony nodded, and Loki sat back in the chair while the doctor checked Tony’s wrist and head, before moving lower and checking his tubes and his leg. He talked quietly to Tony the whole time, telling him what he was doing when he was doing it. After he spent what seemed like an endless amount of time checking everything he could, he called for a nurse to assist him with removing Tony’s breathing tube. After that was gone, he advised Tony to rest, and then Loki and Tony were left alone once more. 

Loki sat back and took hold of Tony’s hand again. For a moment, he felt ridiculously nervous. He’d had several ‘revelations’ while Tony was unconscious, and while he would never be ashamed of his feelings, what if Tony didn’t really feel the same way? 

He took a deep breath, gathered his thoughts, and spoke. ‘Tony, please don’t ever do that to me again. I thought I was going to lose you. This has been the worst two days of my life, and I have lived through a lot of years. I love you, Tony. You aren’t _obligated_ to say it back, I just – I couldn’t go another minute without you knowing how I feel about you.’ Loki looked away when he finished. There were so many emotions flittering across Tony’s face, and Loki couldn’t stand it if he saw rejection amongst them. 

‘You – you love me?’ Tony whispered, voice hoarse. 

Loki looked back at Tony, who looked back at him, genuinely curious. _He truly didn’t know._

‘I do.’ Loki said, futilely trying to keep some sort of mask in place while he waited for Tony to absorb what he’d said and respond. 

After something like an eternity to Loki, but was only a couple of moments, Tony smiled and tugged on the hand that held his. Loki stood up so he could sit perched on the side of the bed, closer to Tony. 

‘Kiss me?’ Tony asked. 

So, Loki did, pouring everything he had just said moments before into the kiss, hoping and praying Tony understood just how sincere he was. Finally, he pulled back and looked down at Tony, slightly breathless. 

‘Lo?’ Tony breathed. 

‘Yes, love?’ 

Tony closed his eyes momentarily before continuing. ‘I love you, too. You should never doubt that. I don’t ever want you to leave me. It scares the hell out of me to admit it, but it’s true. I need you in my life.’ 

Loki let out the breath he’d been holding and his face broke into a grin. He was so _happy._ He had everything he needed right here in Tony, and now he knew Tony loved him back!! 

They sat there for the next few hours talking, Loki filling Tony in on the minor details of the attack he had glazed over earlier. He told him the team would probably be by later, like they had been the last two days, and he was in the middle of telling him how Natasha and Steve had tried several times to get him to go home when he realized that Tony had fallen back asleep. 

So, he held Tony’s hand, sat back with his book, and waited for him to wake up again – all with a smile on his face. 

Everything just might turn out okay. 

\----------

Natasha, Steve, Bruce and Clint all arrived an hour later, while Tony was still sound asleep. 

‘How is he doing today?’ Bruce asked Loki. 

Loki looked at Bruce, relief evident on his face as he spoke. ‘Better. He can go home as soon as the doctor checks his latest head CT and clears him. Either later this evening or early tomorrow. Tony is pushing for tonight.’ 

Natasha chuckled at that. ‘Of course he is. Never can keep him down for long. What about his wrist and leg?’ 

‘The doctor says his wrist will take a couple weeks to heal, his leg quite a bit longer. He’ll make a complete recovery though.’ 

She nodded, glancing at Tony before looking at the team and back to Loki again. ‘Loki, we owe you an apology. No, we do.’ She added and held up a hand when Loki opened his mouth to protest. ‘These last few days you’ve done nothing but watch over Tony, and it’s clear to us that you care a great deal about him. This time last week we were still doubting you, and for that we are sorry.’ She finished, holding out her hand for Loki to shake as a peace offering. 

Loki studied her face before taking her hand at last and shaking it. There was a warmth bubbling up inside him that he couldn’t quite explain. Was this what acceptance felt like? 

Before he could respond, they were interrupted by Tony’s voice. ‘I knew you would get them to come around, but I never thought you would get an apology.’ He chuckled. ‘I told you guys he wasn’t all bad.’ 

Loki turned back to Tony and smiled. ‘You never miss an opportunity to say I told you so, do you?’ he asked, moving back over to Tony’s bed. ‘How do you feel?’ 

‘Of course not.’ Tony retorted. ‘And, I feel fine.’ 

Loki bent down and kissed him, not caring that the rest of Tony’s team was behind him, watching them. He turned his head to whisper in Tony’s ear, ‘Let’s see about getting you out of here then, shall we?’ He smirked at the visible shiver he saw pass through Tony, and then turned and left the room. 

Yes, everything was _definitely_ going to be okay. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, this is the last chapter. I feel like this is a good place to stop, now that everything is right in Loki's world. I think I tied everything up, but there will be an epilogue so if any part of this doesn't feel finished let me know. The epilogue is half written, and should be up in the next week or so. Thanks to those of you who have stuck it out and read through my very first fic!


End file.
